As with many challenges in life, those seeking help for compulsive and unwanted sexual behaviors are faced with countless recovery options, including support groups, “recovery” apps, internet filters, online courses, and other professional services. Two you’ll often hear about are counseling and coaching. And while people sometimes use these terms interchangeably, there are important differences between coaching and counseling that can significantly shape your recovery experience.
Recognize that both counseling and coaching can offer someone valuable support, but they serve very different purposes. Therefore, understanding how they work, what credentials are involved, and what you can reasonably expect can help you choose the best path (or combination of paths) for your healing and betterment.
The following are some key differences to keep in mind:
- Ethical Standards and Accountability
One primary distinction is the level of oversight. Licensed counselors must follow established codes of ethics set by organizations like the American Counseling Association. These codes govern confidentiality, professional boundaries, and informed consent. Additionally, they specify that counselors must not force their values on a client and always work towards their client’s betterment and expressed goals. Consequently, if a counselor fails to uphold these standards, there are formal avenues for accountability, including the potential loss of licensure.
Coaching, on the other hand, is not regulated in the same way.
While many coaches act with integrity, there is no single governing body ensuring consistent ethical standards. Anyone can call themselves a coach and begin offering services, sometimes after only a weekend training or a short online course. Additionally, coaches are not constricted by ethical boards in regards to avoiding the imposition of world views or values on their clients.
For some, this flexibility is appealing. But, it does mean clients should be diligent in vetting a coach’s background and approach before signing any contracts and/or commitments.
- Education and Training
This is another major area of distinction that is important to recognize.
Mental health clinicians, such as licensed professional counselors, typically complete extensive graduate education, including 60 credit hours of coursework covering a wide range of topics, 100–150 practicum hours, and 600 hours of internship. Once they complete their degree and pass their licensing exam, they also need to complete as much as 4,500 hours of supervised clinical practice before achieving full licensure.
Coaching certifications, on the other hand, vary widely in rigor.
Some programs are well-designed, but others can be completed in an afternoon yet still boast the promise of being “fully accredited.” Frequently, these quick certification programs have no exams to pass, nor do they require any supervision before one is allowed to “practice.” Particularly in the online space, it’s not uncommon to encounter coaches whose primary qualification is personal experience or a polished Instagram presence. Admittedly, personal experience can be powerful, but it is rarely sufficient for addressing complex mental health or trauma-related issues.
- Process vs. Action/Content Orientation
Counseling generally focuses on exploring the deeper roots of your struggles, understanding your story, and addressing underlying emotional wounds. This process-oriented approach helps create meaningful transformation from the inside out. In fact, research shows that focusing on the therapeutic process, rather than just specific strategies or techniques, is essential for achieving deep and enduring results.
Conversely, coaching tends to be more action- or “content”-focused.
In fact, one of the strengths of coaching is that many programs emphasize goal setting, accountability, and practical strategies to change behavior. This can be very helpful for those who have already done some deep work and just need some assistance in executing their recovery plans. However, coaching alone may not be sufficient to help you heal the deeper mental wellness–related issues that fuel compulsive behavior.
This is important if you are someone more concerned with holistic wellness rather than simple sobriety.
- Client vs. Coach Worldview
As previously mentioned, counselors are trained and ethically mandated to honor your worldview rather than imposing their own. As such, their role is to help you clarify your own values and decisions in a nonjudgmental space.
Alternatively, some coaches build their programs around their personal philosophies or experiences. This can be beneficial if you share their perspective, but for others, it can feel prescriptive. Therefore, if you prefer a neutral, more client-centered approach, this is something to consider carefully when exploring your coaching options.
- Insurance and Affordability
Admittedly, this one is more of a practical concern than a professional concern.
Counseling may be covered by your insurance, which can make it more financially accessible. This, of course, depends on a variety of factors, including your state’s laws, the location of the practice, and your insurance benefits. Coaching, however, is rarely (if ever) covered by insurers, in part due to the lack of licensure, professional diagnosis, and an empirically evidenced track record of success.
As such, coaching services are typically paid out of pocket, and costs can range from modest fees to several thousand dollars for “premium” programs. Consequently, while price alone doesn’t determine quality, it’s wise to be cautious about high-ticket coaching packages that require significant financial investment, as your care may end up being constrained by a shrinking budget.
- Realistic Vs. Guaranteed Expectations
This last one is not always the case but something that you may run into, especially with influencer “coaches” who are trying to build their online presence and list of clients.
That said, one noticeable difference between coaches and counselors is the claims made about outcomes. Ethical counseling professionals will never guarantee a cure or promise you’ll “never struggle again.” That is because recovery is complex, and there are no shortcuts. Additionally, the efficacy of counseling is just as dependent on the client’s engagement with the process as it is on the skill and empathy of the counselor.
In contrast, some coaches (especially those with flashy marketing pitches) advertise permanent freedom or guaranteed results along with a money-back guarantee. While this can be tempting, it’s important to approach such claims with discernment. In fact, I would recommend steering far away from these types of coaches, as their claims are based more on the need for revenue generation than on an empirically grounded foundation.
Again, coaching and counseling are both valid avenues for help. But the option you choose should be based on what you hope to get from the experience.
Counseling can be especially effective for addressing trauma, mental health challenges, and relational issues that often underlie addiction or compulsive behaviors. This is because a good counselor is well-equipped and trained to help you process past experiences, develop coping skills, and build emotional resilience. Generally, I almost always recommend counseling to those who are new to the recovery journey or are still struggling to figure out the reason they run to their unwanted sexual behaviors in the first place.
Coaching may be more appropriate when you have clear goals and need structure or accountability to follow through. For example, a coach can help you design a daily recovery plan or track progress toward specific milestones. In other words, coaching is great for helping people execute a specific plan to achieve certain goals but usually not the ideal option for processing deep emotional wounds.
That said, it’s important to recognize that these paths aren’t mutually exclusive.
Many people find that combining counseling and coaching works best. A counselor can guide you through the work of healing, while a coach can offer additional structure, encouragement, and accountability. This combination can create a more robust support system, especially during early recovery.
However, regardless of which approach you choose, one principle remains constant: you can’t do this alone. Addiction thrives in isolation. Whether you work with a counselor, a coach, join a support group, or all of the above, surrounding yourself with trusted people is essential. Recovery happens in connection, not secrecy.
Ultimately, whether you choose counseling, coaching, or a combination, it’s worth reflecting on what kind of support you need most. If you’re looking for a safe, evidence-based space to explore your past and address mental health concerns, counseling is often well suited to that depth of work. If you feel stable and primarily want help staying accountable to clear goals, coaching may also be a useful tool.
Regardless, do your research before selecting any professional.
The rise of internet-based coaching has made it easier than ever to access help, but it’s also created opportunities for unqualified individuals to market themselves as experts. If you come across a coach whose main credentials are a compelling social media feed and bold promises, take time to ask questions about their training, experience, and ethical guidelines. Recovery is too important to entrust to someone simply because they have an impressive Instagram reel.
Similarly, before you select a counselor, look at their certifications and credentials. Find out how much experience they have with the issues you want to explore and what their reviews look like. Additionally, don’t be shy about asking your counselor questions, because finding the right fit is the most important factor in achieving positive outcomes.
Whatever path you take, remember: real change takes time, honesty, and community. You deserve support that respects your story, your dignity, and your humanity. No quick fix can replace the transformative work of genuine healing.