I’m not sure you have to have it all figured out.  The “why’s” are questions that we sometimes won’t find complete answers for.  We can, however, find insights by digging deeper into our heart’s condition, our past, and into God’s design.

My Heart :
We may have legitimate feelings that are meant to be expressed in healthy ways. Anger, loneliness, stress, sadness, happiness, boredom, scared, insecurity… These are legit.

We also have legitimate needs that our heart cries out for:  acceptance, love, security, value, comfort and connection. Unfortunately, we turn in unhealthy directions like porn, illicit relationships and masturbation to meet our legit feelings and legit needs.

My Past :
Our pasts are full of wounds looking for healing, resolution, and reconciliation. Some of our wounds involve abuse, sexual encounters and early exposure to pornography. Butdid you know that unmet expectations are wounds?  None of our parents, ministers, teachers, family members or friends are perfect, and we were let down. We still carry a lot of baggage from our past.

We are ultimately still responsible for our own sexual actions, but some of what is driving us may lie in our past.

God’s Design :
God has given us our sexuality.  It’s a good gift from Him.  We should not be ashamed that we have attractions and feelings toward others. We should not ask God to take away our sexual desire because it’s His design.  But the drive of our hearts is to be righteous with our sexuality and honor God.

We are also designed to know God intimately, to connection with Him and be in a relationship with Him.

Porn pushes buttons that are deep in our soul and pretends to be the answer.  But like high divers jumping into a kiddie pool, we are getting a little splash and a lot of hurt.

Homework:  Begin the process of examining the stuff underneath the surface.  It’s a strong undercurrent.  Your heart, your past, and your God-given design want to go in healthy directions.  

Can you identify what’s there and reach out for the help of others?