I must admit I enjoy reading and watching TMZ. But, it saddens me most of the time reading the headlines and watching as the famous ones stumble around hammered or marriages fall apart. We have watched people destroy their lives and careers. These superstars are emotional train wrecks. I don’t believe for one minute that TMZ is making this stuff up. This is on the street, caught on camera true life. Sex, drugs, porn, assualts, overdoses, death,you name it.
How would you look on TMZ? What if unknowingly Harvey Levin assigned some of his crew to follow you around on a daily basis? Would your life read out like “(Your Name) Looks At Cantaloupes While Wife Buys Squash” or “(Your Name) Caught One Handed”? If you are wanting out of addiction and ready for recovery that is exactly what you need. Some ACCOUNTABILITY! Someone who is going to listen to every word you speak and keep an eye on the things you do. If you slip they must be willing to call you out on it. TMZ is always calling people out. Accountability partners need to be like the reporters at TMZ. They are not scared to ask the tough questions to some tough folks. They will take a chance at getting a fist in the face just to ask the question. Most of us wont even ask the tough questions to our friend and family who are trying to live a life without porn. Dont be scared to get in their face. If a person wants to recover they need bounderies. They need to set their bounderies and allow their accountability partners to stand on the otherside of that line to call out of bounds.
Here are some ongoing habits necessary to maintain a new lifestyle within your bounderies.
Acknowledge powerlessness and dependence daily. Admit every day that you need God. Deliberately connect with God. Intentionally recognize that you are in God’s presence and watch-care.
Make a decision daily, verbally. Decide specifically on the thing(s) that you are not going to do, and make up your mind. If you do that thing, you’ve changed your mind. Don’t wait until the moment of temptation comes; start your day with those decisions.
Practice ongoing routines of accountability. Do these regularly, whether you feel you need to or not. Consider accountability partners and structures. Have people willing to ask you hard accountability questions who will check in with you daily, weekly and monthly, monitoring software, recovery groups. For great FREE accountability software get X3 Watch. You can get it for PC, MAC, I-Phone and I-Pod Touch. www.x3watch.com
Anticipate challenging, dangerous external situations. For example, if your spouse is going out of town and this can become a place of temptation or acting out, plan ahead! Make plans to play golf with the guys on Thursday, go to an extra group meeting. Plan ahead for those tempting situations. When temptation is strong FIGHT! Know you are in trouble, don’t minimize. Have an escape plan. Do something positive; anything. Help someone else. For example, help a neighbor cut their lawn. Do something to get out of the situation.
Learn from mistakes, and if need be redraw boundaries. Maybe you can’t watch certain kinds of movies, be alone with a certain person late at night, or talk to a certain person. Look at your mistakes and learn from them by redrawing your boundaries.
If you are recovering stay in the game. I know it is easy to get discouraged, don’t quit! I would like to leave you with a verse and a quote.
Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through him who strengthens me.”
“Wars are not won by evacuations.” Winston Churchill