PROFILE OF XXXCHURCH BLOGGER JEFF FISHER
Profile: Jeff Fisher. Founder of Porn to Purity.com. XXXChurch.com blogger. Podcaster.
History of struggling with sexual sin including: internet porn, masturbation, magazines, bad TV channels, movies, newspaper ads, fantasy, objectification of women.
Family of Origin: Parents remained married. Attached mother. Emotionally-detached father. Very little discussion in household about sexual matters.
Spiritual Upbringing: Christian upbringing. Christian parents. Frequent church attendance. Involvement in youth group. Placed faith in Christ – age 11. Commitment to full-time vocational ministry at 19. Attended Southwestern Seminary (Ft. Worth, TX).
Marriage and family: Married – age 25. Two children.
First Exposure to Porn: Age 10, porn mag found at construction site.
Sex Education: Very little from family or church. Learned mostly from peers, movies, magazines and experimentation.
REFLECTIONS AND PIVOTAL MOMENTS
· I can deal with this on my own.
· It’s not that bad, it’s just porn. At least I’m not committing adultery or worse.
· I’m just one commitment or job change away from conquering my struggles.
· Seminary will cure my sexual struggles.
· Marriage will cure my sexual struggles.
· I’m protecting myself and my wife by lying.
· God must be OK with me struggling. Lightening hasn’t struck yet.
· I need sex (orgasms) to survive.
· God (or others) can’t love me if I struggle so much with sexual sin.
Worst / Best Moment in Recovery: Two pastor friends confronted me in August of 2007. Intervention. Lost ministry job, church plant, and had to move. Marked the beginning of my real recovery. True brokenness.
Visits to Counselors:
Greenville, TX (1999) – not a good counselor; mostly stop it and love Jesus more; no exploration of deeper wounds.
Buffalo, NY (2007) – better counselor, but not the best resource; still not identified at sexual addiction
Raleigh, NC (2008) – best, counselors who understood sexual addiction, root causes, and how to resource me
Joined Sexual Addiction Support Group: 2008 in Raleigh, NC. Currently leading group in Apex, NC.
Accountability: After many failed attempts at accountability relationships, finally found a committed brother. Meets with Tom every Wednesday for breakfast. Accountability software on computers and mobile devices. Discussions with wife on struggles and slips.
Current Purity Strategy:
Defensive – Filters, blocked channels, strong boundaries around magazines and newspaper, bounce eyes, flee.
Offensive – Group, accountability meetings, phone calls to guys in group, pursuing healthy relationship with wife, meaningful bible & prayer times with God, journaling, blogging, podcasting, work out, work in yard, pursue healthy friendships with other guys.
Jeff Fisher blogs regularly at Porn to Purity and podcasts twice a week on his Top Tips For Sexual Purity Podcast.
Email Jeff at [email protected]