For years I’ve had a desire within me to write. However, I struggled to make traction.
I worry about my motives, what other people will think, decide I don’t have time, and a million other excuses. The lack of movement on my part let time just slip by.
Well, now I have decided it’s time to take some action (hence what you’re reading now). Why do I bring my struggle with writing up?
I think in many ways it can be connected to my own struggle with recovery from porn – where a lack of action due to indecision, fear, shame, or whatever else is in my way has slowed me down.
If that’s you and you are wondering if starting the recovery journey is even worth it or if you have tried and had some setbacks, then I want to encourage you. Just like today I picked up a pen (and finally my laptop) and started writing, you can start by taking small steps toward recovery.
I was in a local hospital this morning taking a class for expectant dads and I saw a quote on the wall that struck me:
“You may never know what results come of your actions, but if you do nothing, there will be no results.” – Mahatma Ghandi
Ghandi hits it right on the head! When it comes to most things in life, and in particular our recovery, any action we take can help us build the momentum we need to make progress.
We may not be successful 100% of the time or pitch a perfect game in recovery, but we can know that each small step is flexing our recovery muscles and bringing us closer to our breakthrough. It takes courage to try and our fear is the result might not be what we want.
While this is true, the alternative, as Ghandi so astutely points out, is no progress whatsoever.
So yes, I believe with total conviction that the time, effort, and money I have put into recovery is worth it. Many of us who have struggled with a porn addiction know the negative results – yet it’s often a familiar comfort we can’t seem to shake.
That is until we start taking serious heart, mind, and physical action.
My suggestion for a great first step is to get into a support group for men (whether in person locally or online) and show up consistently. Find guys who can hold you accountable and can relate to your struggles.
You’ll soon realize that most guys are either going through the same thing or have been through the same things. Connection is one of the best weapons in the recovery journey.
Another thing that has really helped me is filtering/monitoring software for all my devices and finding an accountability partner who gets notified of my online habits. This helps especially through the early stages of recovery.
Third is developing your spiritual life. This can be through prayer or meditation, Bible reading, and attending a house of worship. I try to make sure whenever I feel tempted I not only reach out to my accountability partner but ask God for the strength to say no.
Finally, find things you enjoy to replace your bad habits with good ones, whether it’s working out, fixing cars, listening to music or podcasts, or spending more time with your spouse.
The important thing is to take the first step.
I can’t promise you will never have a setback. The recovery journey is not linear. But each step you take, the more you allow your heart and mind to change, is one move closer to freedom.