I hear people tell me all the time that “I don’t have a problem with porn I just look at it occasionally” or “I just look at it for fun every now and then”. Don’t fool yourself or others you may very well be addicted to porn. How do you know?
I have listed some identifiers that may help you realize you have a problem or some
one you know has a problem, because as the saying goes “If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck then it must be a duck”.
(Quick note: I used the term he generically
this can go for either male or female addicts)
When you found the porn did he tell you:
It wasn’t his. A friend must have left it.
He doesn’t know how it got there.
It’s not his porn; it’s your son’s porn.
The plumber left it.
He admitted he bought the porn magazine or video and said it was only out of curiosity.
He doesn’t know how to use the computer and he wishes he knew how to stop the porn from popping up.
It’s spam and everyone gets porn spam.
A friend of his planted the porn as a bad joke.
Yes, he did go to a porn site, but it was by accident.
The answers you just read are not necessarily lies. They describe actual incidents that have happened to those who did not use porn. However, these cases are extremely rare – most of the time you’re being lied to – except for porn spam; it’s sometimes unavoidable.
Whenever you find porn in the house or on the computer, assume you’ve stumbled across evidence of a pornography addiction. There’s a good chance there’s more porn somewhere. It is probably well-hidden. If there isn’t more porn in the house, then he may have thrown it away and will probably try to sneak some in later on. He might be using it work, in the car, at a friend’s house. He may have deleted it from the computer, or may have it hidden on the computer.
Unless, he is completely honest with you, you are always going to be suspicious of him.
Have you walked in on your partner masturbating?
If there is any addiction that is misunderstood, it’s masturbation addiction.
Some women say “I don’t care if he masturbates, I just don’t want him using porn to do it.” That is a recipe for disaster.
Some men and women are under the impression that a married guy needs to masturbate to release extra sexual tension.
Let me give you another interpretation. Most men get sexually addicted. So they have two drives: a natural, loving sex drive and an addictive one.
When you walked in on him masturbating, you probably walked in on an addictive activity
Is your partner eager for you to leave the house?
Most porn addicted men in a relationship act out only when they get the opportunity. The less you’re home, the more opportunity he has. A few signs of sneaking in sexually addictive behavior are:
He gets up in the middle of the night to do work, but his boss complains because he never gets his work in on time. He might be getting up in the middle of the night to engage in addictive activity.
He seems to get nervous just before you leave the house.
When you come home you feel as if you walked in on something.
Sometimes he often waits till he gets to work to “act out”. He doesn’t have the opportunity to masturbate or use porn at home, so he uses the office. He likes to stay in the office and use masturbation/pornography because he doesn’t want to deal with issues at home.
As I said when I started these are just a few signs that there maybe an addiction. If you feel you have an addiction there is help out there for you. You are not alone in this struggle. There are places like XXXchurch or Every Mans Battle.
You can also use programs like X3 Watch or X3 Pure. They are all great tools, so use them.
Psalm 55:22 SAYS CAST YOUR BURDENS ON THE LORD AND HE WILL SUPPORT YOU.
Matthew 11:28 “COME TO ME, ALL OF YOU WHO ARE WEARY AND BURDENED, AND I WILL GIVE YOU REST.”
LOVE JESUS/LOVE PEOPLE