Is Porn Really the Problem?

By Scott Loutner

For a split second we are given over to thinking what we are looking at actually is real. The lustful, misleading fantasy that erupts from viewing illicit pornographic material agitates the craving in our souls for real intimacy. However, porn is and only will ever be false intimacy.

Deep down in our relational, red blood, passionate hearts there is a core desire to be known, to be respected, and to be loved. To exchange romance, fulfill a calling, be a real man. It is this perfect inner desire that is ultimately designed to bring us into a thriving relationship with our Creator, but we instead look at pornography, and lean into false intimacy. When our search for for real intimacy never gets quenched, this becomes a vicious cycle of addiction.

I remained stuck like a leech in my porn addiction for years, swimming in self, feeding my ego and getting a handle on life by trying to control my habit. The truth is that I was drowning. I only ever saw change when, in my search for real intimacy, I found the One who made me to love and be loved. Slowly, He began to fill my heart with a desire and passion to be pure like Him, because I was searching for real intimacy! I stopped searching for false intimacy in a fantasy world, and started noticing the real people around me who love me.

We look at porn to find out who we are. We do it to paint a picture of a better girlfriend, a perfect wife, an idealistic woman or man, or just a fraction of a person we know in our real lives to make it feel somewhat convincing. If we only look to our fantasy to fuel our hearts, we will surely die. Be strong and risk your heart on a real, intimate relationship with the lover of your soul. I promise if you run to Him you will fall so much in love that you won’t have time or attention to pour into entertaining your lustful fantasies.