A few weeks ago I received a phone call from a young man who was for lack of better terms pissed off at his accountability partner. This guy was furious and rambling on about how he has done nothing wrong. I told him to slow down and tell me what was going on. He went on to tell me that his accountability partner had called him out about something on his X3 Watch report and that he was judging him. He said the site he went to was nothing. There were women in bathing suits on the site and other tempting things but he was reading an article about a sports figure. I asked him what the site was and his answer to me was “I don’t remember”. He went on to say that when he told his friend it was nothing that the guy kept asking him questions and judging him. I asked him ” did you ask him to be your accountability partner”? Of course he said “yes”. I then went on to ask him if his friend had ever called him out before. He said “No, this was the first time. I have don’t look at things like that and he knows it”! As our conversation went on I told him that is what accountability partners are for. They are there to call you out on things like that. I told him that the temptations of this life are too dangerous to tackle alone. We need each other to stay in line. Paul said in Galatians that “If someone is caught in sin you who are spiritual should restore that person gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted”. As we ended our conversation I confronted this young man too. His story just didn’t jive with me. After a few minutes he confessed to me that he was indeed looking at the girls in bikinis. I asked him why did he get so mad at his friend and he said “I didn’t want to come across as a failure”. He agreed to call his friend and apologize for his actions and admit his guilt.
Is there a difference in judging and confronting (holding accountable)? I recently read in an article that Confronting has an element of humility involved, because you know your own struggle with same temptations. Judging always makes you better than the other person in your mind. Confronting means direct contact with the person you are holding accountable. Judging is another dirty little secret you keep to yourself or share with others in gossip.
If you ever find yourself putting someone down in your mind, stop and think that you maybe judging them. Then consider if you maybe the one who goes and confronts them with love. Put your information into action or stay silent and leave it with God.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 “Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their efforts. For if either falls, his companion can lift him up;but pity the one who falls without another to lift him up. Also, if tow lie down together they can keep warm;but how can one person alone keep warm? And if someone overpowers one person, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not easily broken.