Performance anxiety, something we as men face at least once in our lives. It can be caused by a large number of things, and I cannot speak for all men nor can I really speak medically, I know for me a lot of it was caused by one singular factor. I could not live up to what I had seen in porn.
Porn has formed our mindset of how sex should be performed. And this can cause us to face a reality that we may not be able to perform in such a way. More often than not we cannot, this is what led to my anxiety concerning sex.
The length of time, the positions, the vigor, the maintenance, all of this is unrealistic. So if I can offer one piece of advice:
Don’t Sweat It!
The chances of you performing like men in a porn are rare, and probably not what you partner wants anyways.
On the other side of the “Performance Topic” is that of sex in a porn and the relation to a God centered relationship.
I know that there has been a lot of debates lately about sex and marriage. How to have sex, if certain areas of sex are okay, and more. I have heard everything from whether or not anal sex is a sin (which I feel is ridiculous to say) to whether or not masturbabtion in marriage is a sin as well (which I feel is also ridiculous to say).
My position on this is simple. Talk to God about it. What he tells you is okay, is what you should do. No one has a firm answer on this. In my humble opinion, I feel there is no problem having sex like a porn star, if you and your partner both agree on the terms and you are okay with it. Here are a few examples:
Oral sex is not a sin. I learned a long time ago that God deals in black and white. Nowhere in the Word do we read anything about having/giving oral sex. Now, there is a limit. You must know whether or not your partner wants to. Forcing or guilting someone into it is no more of God than watching porn.
Mutual Masturbation is not a sin either. I feel that in the end if you and your partner agree on the terms than go for it. However, masturbating outside of the “one on one” time you have set up with your partner is something you need to make sure you don’t let get out of hand, no pun intended.
Porn star sex is not a sin. My opinion, if you can do it…go for it. However, it must be mutual. Forceful sex on someone who does not want it, is not only rape, it is a sin.
Sex is sex. It takes “two to tango” so they say. You have to be vigilant and be led with love and not led with lust. Talk to God, he will tell you what you need to know.