A few years ago I received a call from a local Saturday morning television talk show asking for my ideas on porn in culture. I had no idea that this conversation would quickly make the jump from the complete saturation of porn in culture to porn in the bedroom. Specifically, one anchor lady said, “Who cares if a couple watches porn in the bedroom. Everyone needs a little help sometimes.” True as the help issue may be, porn is not the answer. As the awkwardness ensued, I cannot imagine the state of her marriage, or at least her concept of what marriage should be. If nothing else, this shows us where culture is today, and what has become socially acceptable.
There are those that say, “porn has never hurt anyone.” This could not be further from the truth. The fact is that if you canvas this website, you would find a deluge of stories from those who have experienced the sting of porn. You see, it’s not all fun and games, because there is always someone that gets hurt in the process.
Others say, “we needed to spark things up a bit.” Alright. This is understandable. Sometimes the sexual aspect of marriage could use a little spark. I get it. That makes sense. But to turn from the intimacy of relational investment you might have with a spouse to porn is simply the wrong way to go. If you’re searching for excitement, there are many other things you could do before seeking outside, pornographic resources. It is because of this that I have listed some ideas for you below, something that I hope sparks your interest.
How to renew the sexual excitement in your marriage:
- Set aside some regular alone time with your spouse.
- Get to know what “works” for your spouse (hint: this can only be done by #1).
- Focus your attention on your spouse, and not all the other distractions in life.
- Constantly remind yourself that this person is who you first fell in love with.
- Date your spouse (Don’t expect the torch to always be lit. You have to light it on fire sometimes).
Your marriage is one of the most important things to God. He deeply cares for it, and so should you. You should protect it; keep it holy. Guard it with everything you have.