By DJ Collier
“What is it that brings me back? I know this is wrong but I need it. Why do I need this? I hate the cycle. I resist, I struggle but I always give in. I have the strength of resolve on my side and I am not going to fall back into the grasp of pornography, but here I am on the other side 15 minutes later begging God to forgive me and swearing to never do it again. Am I a liar? Am I really repenting? Why can’t I stop? I must be an addict.”
I may catch some flack for this but not everyone who looks at porn becomes an addict (this is by no means a statement that you ever want to test). I know men that looked at porn and were repulsed, never to be drawn into that trap. Some look and walk away with unhealthy views of women and their own sexuality damaged, but they are not addicted. Then there are those who are pulled into the trap, and in them an addiction takes root. In their lives there is an emotional hole. That is where the seed of addiction takes root. Unlike a drug addict, a porn addict doesn’t require a needle in a vein for the chemical high. The images you ingest, the thoughts that arouse you, those hormones are your high. You don’t do drugs with a needle, the pictures are your drug and, I think, they are harder to quit than any physical drug.
So what is the purpose of this porno drug? I think it fills the human need for intimacy. Pornography is a cheap and easy substitute for intimacy. God built us to be intimate, however, intimacy is scary because it leaves us vulnerable. Intimacy is difficult — you must deal with two imperfect people coming together into one very imperfect relationship. Porn gives us the chance to circumvent all of the emotional red tape and live the fantasy. You jump onto this emotional roller coaster, you live the rush, enjoy the thrill, and then bottom out. Guilt, shame, remorse are your companion, you vow to never use porn again but then you use again perpetuating the cycle.
Answer this ::
Why can’t you stop?
What void are you (or were you) filling when you use porn?
What are your triggers for this need?