“Sex is more exciting on the screen and between the pages than between the sheets.” – Andy Warhol
Maybe you, like so many others in our world today, can identify with this quote. Perhaps you’re married, but the marriage isn’t what you expected it to be. You feel trapped in a relationship that just isn’t working, and every day you feel less like a lover and more like a roommate. Perhaps you’ve thought about divorce, but dismissed it a long time ago and are just sticking it out for the kids.
Or, perhaps you’re not married, but have been in and out of relationships and have yet to find one deliver what it’s promised. The resolution at the end of a 2-hour movie or in the final pages of a novel puts a fake smile on your face… but reminds you of the real emptiness in your heart as you walk back to the daily grind.
You’re not alone.
For so many, this quote is true. Here are some reasons why…
1. Real sex is work. It’s not something you can just turn on or off like a TV or open or close like a book. It involves pursuing someone’s heart, being selfless and sacrificial, and loving someone else with authenticity over the long haul.
2. Real sex isn’t always accessible. Because it involves an actual relationship, it’s not just dependent on YOUR schedule, but someone else’s as well. They may not be physically present. They may not be emotionally present. They may not be spiritually present. Or they may just not want it.
3. Real sex makes you vulnerable. It exposes you with #NoFilter. Photoshop doesn’t help here, the clothes you wear to make yourself look thinner are off, and the real you is placed before another.
4. Real sex requires you to give, not just take. It requires you to be generous, thoughtful, and selfless, and it battles greed, selfishness, and pride head on.
Because of these reasons, so many settle for second best. They go back to that website, tune back into that TV channel, or go back into the pages of that novel. They trade God’s best for the world’s cheap solution.
And it’s killing their ability to really connect with those that matter most to them.
Jesus said in John 10:10 “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” Please know that He wasn’t leaving our sexual lives out of his thought process here. He longs for you and I to have the most abundant, fulfilling sex-lives possible! But we’ll never truly find it when we settle for the world’s substitution.
I heard someone once say “Anything but God’s best, is at best, second best.” God’s plan for real sex in the context of a committed, marriage relationship will always be better than what this world has to offer.
What do you need to do today to pursue God’s best?
Cory Hunneyman is one of the pastors on staff at Lakeshore Community Church – a church that strives to love people where they’re at, regardless of the mess. They recently started a new teaching series called “Second Chances” – be sure to check it out!