I am willing to bet a ton of cash that quite a few of you guys out there proposed to your lady over the Christmas holiday. You went out spent I believe it is 2 months salary on a ring, planned an extravagant proposal over a romantic dinner or under the Christmas tree. There are a million scenarios here but you get the picture. Now I want to ask you a question. Are you prepared to get married? Really, are you ready?
I have read numerous blogs and talked with several women over the years and there is one common theme when it comes to porn and marriage. That is your future wife (fiance) finds out you look at porn, she asks you to stop because it makes her feel miserable. The guy always says “I will quit, I promise” those are mostly empty words. When we make those empty promises it begins to cast doubts on our promise of fidelity. If we continue to consume porn after marriage it violates the exclusiveness of the marriage commitment. It says in Hebrews 13:4 “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.” Viewing Internet pornography or engaging in cybersex or porn in any form is a short step to taking cheating to the next level.Marriage is just not about sex and as I have stated before sex is very emotional to women. They want to be the apple of your eye, your princess, your one and only. When you are sitting in the next room with your wanker in your hand how do you think that makes her feel? Something that was created to be beautiful and intimate has turned into her feeling like some advanced blow up doll that is only good for one thing if that. She already feels inadequate, you are just adding to her grief. Porn is a dangerous thing to bring into a marriage or even relationship. Porn is not reality! It is fantasy!What you see on the screen is not what you are going to see in the bedroom. When you are focused on your wife and willing to meet her needs physically and emotionally your life in the bedroom will be so much better than any movie you can shake a stick at (pun intended).If you are about to get married and look at porn..give it up NOW! I am talking to single,married, all guys!
I am not in any way a marriage counselor or claim to know it all. I am just a guy who has leared from my mistakes and from mistakes of others. If you are a husband or engaged here are a few things a pastor I respect alot had to say about how to honor your wife/future wife..
Honor her maritally. Take a wife honorably. Establish right priorities, and be a one woman man—absolutely faithful to your wife.
Honor her physically. Be strong for your wife, not against her. Be protective of her and present with her.
Honor her emotionally. Be emotionally present and intimate. Take her on dates.
Honor her verbally. Speak honorably to her. Speak honorably of her, when she is present and absent.
Honor her financially. Provide for the financial needs of your family, organize your budget, and be generous towards your wife.
Honor her practically. Consider her needs and how you can serve her.
Honor her parentally. Be “Pastor Dad” by shepherding your children (praying with them, teaching them about Jesus, reading the Bible with them, etc.).
Honor her spiritually. You initiate and lead prayer, Bible, chats, church attendance, etc. Take responsibility for your church.
Until next time
Steve Oh
LoveJesus.LovePeople