I can’t believe it’s already been a week since When Shame Gets Real: A new way to talk about sex, porn and masturbation was unleashed on the unsuspecting public 🙂

I have to be honest; it’s been pretty fun.

But for anyone dealing with the pain of sexual addiction and betrayal, or discomfort from talking about these topics with their kids, these conversations are anything BUT fun.

The reality is that navigating these often rocky waters can be extremely difficult and challenging. Primarily because the life-altering conversations that need to happen are difficult to approach due to the sacred cow status we’ve bestowed upon the topics of sex, porn, and masturbation.

This is one of the main reasons I wrote the book When Shame Gets Real.

Because if we can’t start talking about these matters as individuals, as families, and as church communities without the need to hide or withdraw, we will continue to see limited progress in the areas of recovery and reducing sexual shame.

The truth is, we all need more than just a few uncomfortable conversations about sex to get our lives, families, or communities pointed in the right direction.

We require a complete shift in the way we think and talk about sex and sexuality.

This means…

  • Seeing porn and other unwanted sexual behavior as simply an unfortunate part of life, and not a unique brokenness that requires special segregation and care.
  • Recognizing sex and sexuality as a beautiful and core part of our identity instead of topics only meant to be explored within the pages of books or behind the walls of counselor’s offices.
  • Acknowledging the pleasure, beauty, and purpose of sex without exploiting or suppressing it.
    Understanding that the language and words we use (or avoid altogether) says a lot about what we fear or believe and that words in the end are just words.

In the end, if we allow dialogue about sex, porn, and masturbation to become a normal part of life’s script, we open up the door to a healthier sexual landscape that celebrates the beauty of sex while extending grace to those who have honest questions or need help.

Because when we don’t, we feed our sacred cows and strengthen the shame that currently exists around these conversations.

If you find yourself struggling with how you approach these topics, pick up When Shame Gets Real and learn how to have these conversations in a healthy and productive way.