How Can I Think of Sex and Love with My Wife When I Got Those In My Face?
If you are a man who’s not a hermit and lives in this highly technical time it is safe to say that you have felt or heard this frustration before. Why is it, especially at this time of the year, does every advertisement you see seemingly include a hot barely clothed woman? Is it me or is it odd that the busty teen in a tight top knows so much about prime mortgage rates? Have you ever wondered if women really like to get their degree online while only wearing a short nighty? What about those banner advertisements that pop up in the margins of so many websites … Is there really a single 25 year old blond with an athlete’s body less than 4 miles from my location looking to “connect” with me? Lastly, do bikini models really sell domain names while wearing bikinis? The advertisements both online, in magazines, and on TV are insane. Advertisers know that they only have a very short opportunity to grab your attention so what better than a healthy pair of breasts to do it with? Unfortunately while merchants are trying to constantly cash in on our raging libidos our sense of purity and sexual integrity suffers. How on earth can we extract ourselves from a life filled with lust when it is being promoted all around us? The truth is we can’t completely; but here are a few things you can do to help the situation.
First, avoid what you can. This may sound obvious but often when people face constant opposition the tempting thing to do is just completely throw in the towel. Yes, there are sex filled advertisements in the paper, in the magazines, on the TV, and online but you are going to find those ads more often in certain venues than others. While the chances of seeing a half-naked woman on HGTV are minimal the chances of seeing one on FX or Spike TV are pretty good. It may be a little tough at first but don’t invite problems by going places where you will find them. This may require not buying certain magazines, not visiting certain social media sites, or not watching certain channels especially after 10PM but if you can steer clear of 70% of the crap out there you have helped your situation tremendously. Whatever you do, don’t decide that since you can’t completely avoid sexual temptation you might as well not try. That is a huge mistake and a convenient way to justify your lack of discipline. Cut out the big things and worry about the little stuff later.
Second, take your thoughts captive. The apostle Paul talks about this in 2 Corinthians 10:5. The thing you need to realize is that seeing an attractive minimally dressed woman isn’t the problem if you weren’t looking for her; the problem is what you do with that image. If an advertisement pops up online or on the TV and you say to yourself, “Wow, she’s hot” you aren’t guilty of anything other than speaking about what’s clearly evident. That being said I wouldn’t necessarily suggest voicing your observations in front of your wife unless you want a nice elbow to the ribs. However, if you take that image and start to dwell on it letting your mind take you places you ought not go it’s time to repent and push the eject button. Acknowledging a woman’s beauty is fine; objectifying her beauty and reducing it to masturbation fodder is not. When the girl in the low cut tight t-shirt pops up on your screen selling auto parts acknowledge that you find her attractive and then click off … unless you need something for your car, then click off and run to the auto parts store.
Lastly, if you are doing the first two things but still occasionally find yourself losing the battle reach out to your accountability partner. Accountability partners are great for this sort of thing because they help keep you in check and away from the slippery slope. Listen, as men we all stumble. Lust unfortunately comes prepackaged with your penis; it’s kind of like home fries. You may not ask for them with your omelet but you get them anyway. We need accountability in our lives so when things start to get out of hand we have someone we can turn to that will help talk us off the ledge. It may not always be easy but confessing your close calls or failures to someone else will help you greatly when the situation arises again (no pun intended).
The bottom line is we live in a hyper-sexualized culture with a fondness for overt sexual marketing. You can’t completely insulate yourself from this reality. However, you can take steps to minimize the damage and remain pure. Spend less time dwelling on the lingerie ads in your favorite magazine and more time on what you can do for your wife so maybe she’s willing to wear some of that lingerie for you.