“It go Halle Berry or hallelujah. Pick your poison tell me what you’re doing.”
Not many people notice the profound metaphor used by popular hip hop artist Kendrick Lamar in these couple lines. He contrasts Halle Berry, a beautiful well-known actress against “hallelujah” which in Hebrew means, “Praise Yahweh”. In the next line there is no confusion about Kendrick’s direction for the listener; he says “pick”. This implies one cannot have both.
I have never met Halle Berry, she is a lovely lady whose figure I’ve seen on TV and in movies whom I have no personal relationship with. Kendrick Lamar uses her as a representation for lust in this instance, whereas Hallelujah represents holiness and Kendrick Tells us, “Pick your poison”.
If I were to be honest with you, I’ve picked Halle Berry over Hallelujah for most of my life. That’s if I were to be honest; which I haven’t always been when it comes to addiction.
Honesty plays a crucial role in the life of a recovering or recovered sex addict. Honesty in my opinion, is accepting the reality one finds themself in, and admitting it without alterations. At the lowest point of my addiction, I was horrible at this.
The first thing necessary is to be honest with yourself. Yes, this comes before being honest with God. God already knows what is going on, but if you are not being honest enough with yourself to confess to Him or others, progress will be futile. In Carl Thomas’s December blog “Porn makes me Normalize my Behavior” Carl wrote that most people who face intense sexual addiction have reached a point where they said, “How did I get here?” Honesty takes this question and reshapes into a statement that says, “Here is where I am.” Once you can do this on an intrapersonal level you can move to the next step of honesty; honesty with God.
There is a spiritual weight lifted from our shoulders when we admit to our Heavenly Father that we have wronged him, are in darkness, and need rescue. This can simply be done in prayer or by some creative manner such as writing God a letter. Those are just suggestions I won’t tell you how to do your thing with God.
Lastly, be honest with those close to you. Be honest with your accountability partner(s), if you don’t have one I’d recommend getting one. James 5:16 says, “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The honest prayer of a righteous man is both powerful and effective.” To simplify this, when we are honest with the people who always have our back, and when we confess and receive prayer from these people, God has our back.
When one is forced to be honest with others they will do one of two things: lie or tell the truth. John 8:32 tells us “You will know the truth and the truth will set you free.” When one is honest with themself, God, and others, enough times they get sick of it. They get sick of hooking up with that person they know they shouldn’t even be talking to, they get sick of going to the same websites again and looking for the perfect fantasy, and they get sick of having to tell everyone the truth: that they are stuck in the same cycle. This motivates change, and that is the truth setting someone free.
However, this freedom is like a classic American muscle car, it must be maintained or it has no value. Honesty is something we must practice. Recovered addicts don’t get to stop or let the little things slide; moving further along in our sobriety means being called to a higher level of honesty. If you feel you aren’t at this level then maybe it’s time to be honest with yourself; which have you been choosing? Halle Berry or Hallelujah?