Over the last few weeks I have been listening to the stories of tornado survivors from all over the U.S. In those stories I heard numerous accounts of people making life or death decisions in just a matter of seconds. You hear heroic stories of military personnel who make those quick decisions to save their platoon from serious injury or death. We have all at some point in our lives had to make a decision fast, we had to “think on our feet”. When it comes to making these type of decisions a lot of things factor in like knowledge, experience, common sense, intuition, reasoning and confidence. All these things must come together quickly.
When it comes to the world of porn and us consuming it we need to be able to “think fast”. How many times have you been home alone, sitting at your computer and thought about just taking a little peek? A bunch I am sure. I would be lying if I said the thought had not crossed my mind a time or twelve. Personally speaking when those thoughts come into my head I am directed back to a time in my life when my family lost everything because of porn. I remember the day my dad had to step down from ministry. I think of all the tears that were shed by my family alone. I wonder how many people were let down because of his decision. For me not looking at porn has become easy. I have seen the other side of the industry too. Not only from a consumers point of view but from the performers side. It is a sad and depressing world. I would say that nine times out of ten once you type what ever it is you are searching for in the search box and hit enter you have crossed the line. There is no turning back. Even if you told yourself I am just going to look for a minute you would be lying to yourself. I remember when I was looking at porn sometimes I would start looking at around 7 or 8pm and the next thing I know its 1 in the morning. I go look at my history and an stunned at the amount of porn I consumed in 5 hours. Page after page after page. It is an endless path of nothingness. I was just as empty after looking as I was before.
In my life one of the key things that has helped me make those split second decisions is something called A.D.M Advanced Decision Making. This is a process where you mentally put yourself in a situation and say this is how I may handle what is going on . For example, I work in a prison full time. We have visitation every week. To me the visit is one of our most dangerous times because we have contact visists. This is were the visitor can come in and sit across from the inmate hold hands, hug and talk. I am constantly running scenarios through my head. I ask myself “what would I do if this happened? Or how would I handle this”? Then I start playing it out in my head. One day when something does go off I am somewhat mentally prepared for it. This is exactly what we have to do to protect ourselves from porn or any other sexual activity you maybe involved in. If you know those thoughts pop up when you are on the computer alone, have a plan. When those thoughts began to arise I am going to do ……….you choose. It could be something as simple as turning off the computer or tv and leaving the room to picking up your bible and reading several chapters. This gets you mind off of the porn or sex and helps you focus on something else. I am not some high dollar therapist or someone with a ton of degrees. I am a man with struggles just like you. I have seem the damage done first hand. My goal is to share what I have learned and what helps me with you.
Be prepared go ahead and make those advanced desisions becasue you never know when you may need them in a split second.
“A thief comes only to steal kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life and have it to the full” John 10:10