Maybe you have seen the DirecTV commercials that have been airing lately, where some guy undergoes a chain reaction of events moving rapidly from something minor to start with but always ending up with something far more serious because he got carried away trying to make his life better.

This is what happened with me every time I found myself isolated and feeling as if I was wrong and unloved. I would end up looking for a way to make my life better, but it would end the same as the commercial: a mess. I’d go try to make myself feel better with some porn, which only made me regret what I had done. When I was alone I would always end up convincing myself that it was up to me to make myself feel better–that I had to do something to help myself because no one else would.

But in that place where I separated myself and raised walls that I thought would offer protection instead they made me more susceptible to the lie that drove me to secrecy, “You’re only loved when you act perfectly!”

However, in reality, none of us are perfect, so we often try to hide who we really are. We’re ashamed because we feel we don’t measure up to others or God. Then we end up looking for a way to make ourselves feel better about ourselves, but it never works. This continues to fuel the pain of our loneliness, ensuring that eventually we will act out again and again. All this does is increase guilt and shame and soon we find we’re captive to our secret.

Could this be because we are actually afraid to trust God with our secrets? With our powerlessness and faithlessness and imperfections?

Paul’s warning to the Galatians about allowing legalism to creep into their walk is a good one for us to consider in times like these:

“Are you going to continue this craziness? For only crazy people would think they could complete by their own efforts what was begun by God. If you weren’t smart enough or strong enough to begin it, how do you suppose you could perfect it? Did you go through this whole painful learning process for nothing? It is not yet a total loss, but it certainly will be if you keep this up! Answer this question: Does the God who lavishly provides you with his own presence, his Holy Spirit, working things in your lives you could never do for yourselves, does he do these things because of your strenuous moral striving or because you trust him to do them in you?” (Galatians 3:3, The Message)

Do you really trust Him? Then start by confessing it all to Jesus, invite Him in and share the real you with Him. You will find real love because He loved you first. It might seem difficult at first, but it will open the door for you to find the healing that can only comes with confession.

Go ahead. You have nothing to fear.