Maybe you’ve noticed as I have, but now that we are midway through September, stores are starting to set up all their Halloween displays.

Blow ups, spooky animatronics, costumes, candy – the list goes on. And whether you enjoy trick-or-treating and all the little visitors that come to your house on October 31st or avoid it like the plague, there’s a certain amount of fun with Halloween, seeing all the costumes that kids (and some adults) dress up in.

Some are just awesome. And some are a little weird, if not creepy… right?

I mean, what’s more off-putting than a knife wielding psycho clown that’s 3-foot tall? Knives, clowns and little people are not scary in and of themselves, but bundle it all together and that’s a nightmare waiting to happen.

But here’s the crazy thing about masks. Whether it’s a bloody skull, a superhero, or a kid’s cartoon character, all masks are a little unsettling at times.


Because, you never know who is really behind them.

You don’t know their true identity.
You don’t know their current emotional state.

You don’t know anything.  

And that’s also part of why people love dressing up so much for Halloween. Because, it’s the one time a year that being a phony is acceptable, if not cool. After all, many of us walk around all the time with our masks on, hiding behind images and facades that we have spent years constructing.

But if we got found out?
If people knew the real us?
If it was known that we were just an everyday mask wearer?

Yea, not so cool. Because no one likes a phony.

So when we are given the opportunity to pretend that we are someone we aren’t, someone who doesn’t have all the flaws and problems we have, someone who goes no deeper than the mask we are wearing…

We jump at these opportunities because our charade is celebrated instead of looked down upon.

Of course, after Halloween we have to go back to reality. We have to return our secretive mask wearing and carrying around all the shame that comes with knowing we are, in the end, just big phonies.

We have to go back to pretending that we are the happily married man or woman everyone thinks we are even though our marriages are fracturing.

We have to once again take up the mantle of being a confident and steadfast leader who exudes confidence when the reality is we can’t fall asleep at night because we are riddled with anxiety, worry, and insecurity.

We have to return to our elaborate ruse designed to fool everyone into thinking we have our crap together, when the truth is we struggle with a deep and seemingly inescapable sex addiction.

And we do this because the very idea of coming clean about our struggles and the potential criticism that invites is far too scary to begin to entertain

But I have to ask you… Doesn’t that get tiring?

If you struggle with porn, masturbation, lust, or any other number of unwanted sexual behaviors… Aren’t you sick of pretending that everything is fine, and you have life on lock down?

Aren’t you tired of wearing that hot and uncomfortable mask? 

How great would it be if you could be celebrated for your honesty and transparency instead of the false front you portray each and every day?

Masks are great for holidays. But they completely suck as a way to manage your life. And eventually, you have to take them off anyway, because no one can wear a mask all day long, all year around.

That’s the problem with masks.

Eventually, the truth will catch up with you. And when it does, you’ll have to deal with the very real fallout of your deceit and trickery. 

Ditch the mask and refuse shame a place in your life.

Let people see the REAL you. It’s not as scary as you think.

And if you If you are a man struggling with porn or other sexual addictive behaviors and need a safe place to start your mask-free life, check out the Live Free Community.

As always, if you have any questions about this or need any advice on your sexual and/or recovery journey, ask us anything you want HERE and we’ll answer your question in an upcoming Office Hours segment