Freedom isn’t free. 

Ever heard that one? Sounds like the title for a bad country song to be honest but, regardless, it happens to be a truism. Because, if you want freedom in any area of your life you are going to have to give up some things.

You may need to give up convenience.
You may need to give up your time.
You may need to give up certain vices or guilty pleasures.

Regardless, the cost of freedom is non-negotiable and can even be a steep one. But it’s so worth it in the end.

That being said, for those struggling with sex and porn, this concept is generally not a foreign one. However, where things can get a little fuzzy is identifying exactly what we need to give up to gain said freedom.

Unfortunately, due to some bad books, movies, and outdated perspectives on sexual addiction, many people seeking freedom from their sexual demons think that the key to their independence is in limiting their behavior or options.

Want to be free?
Throw away your computers, tablets, or phones.

throw away computer

Want to be free?
Cancel your cable or internet subscription today.

Want to be free?
Install filters and enable strict parental controls on all your devices so unfettered internet access is a virtual impossibility.

Want to be free?
Don’t go to the beach, pool, or areas of the mall that are within 50’ of a Victoria’s Secret store.

And while some of these actions may be advisable in certain situations to help achieve short-term sobriety, they will in the end all fail you because freedom is not found in behavior modification.

Here’s what we usually miss.

The cost of freedom is not found in simple fixes and hacks. It’s not unlocked by what you give up, but rather by what you are willing to embrace. 

First freedom requires transparency.

Like it or not, if you want freedom in your life from sexual integrity matters you need to embrace a life of openness and authenticity. This means no more secrets, no more hiding, no more trying to do things on your own.

You need community.
You need accountability.
You need loving relationships.

And you need to be honest with the people in your life about the struggles you face and the decisions you make. 

Second, freedom requires commitment.

I’ve seen so many men and women come into the “recovery” process with high hopes only to punch out months, weeks, or even days later because they don’t want to do the work needed to find progress and healing.

They want to check boxes.
They want to flip a switch.
They want instant gratification.

But that’s not recovery and that’s not freedom. It’s snake oil.

You need to be committed to the journey if you want to make it to the end. On your path to freedom you will certainly face your fair share of highs and lows, ups and downs, but you need to keep going and stay committed to your goals.

And you need to do “the work” on a consistent basis.

This means…

  • Showing up to your support group meetings.
  • Keeping your counseling appointments. 
  • Checking in with your recovery community each day.
  • Completing your books and workshops.

There are no shortcuts to recovery or freedom.

Finally, freedom requires investment.

You know what’s more difficult than giving up your comforts and autonomy in the quest for freedom, investing in the process.

We charge for these resources to fund their development and maintenance. And we keep the costs as low as we can to ensure recovery remains accessible and affordable for anyone.

But even if we could give them away for free, we wouldn’t. We would charge something. 


Because people need some skin in the game if they want to play to win. 

That being said, the idea of investment goes far beyond finances.

Effective recovery and eventual freedom requires…

  • Investment of your time
  • Investment of your emotions.
  • Investment in learning.
  • Investment in relationships.
  • Investment in your spiritual life.
  • Investment in your physical and mental health. 

Ultimately, freedom does come with a cost. It demands sacrifice and meaningful engagement. But the truth is that if it didn’t, it wouldn’t be worth much.

Embrace a life of transparency.
Commit to the work and process.
Invest where needed.

Do these things and eventually you will find success.