The honeymoon stage was officially over. My wife and I were married about five months when I was caught doing something a newlywed married person should not do. I was caught with porn.
My wife went to bed and I went into the computer room with the original intent of doing some college homework. What started out as looking at homework, turn to looking at porn. After a couple of minutes I turned and saw my wife standing there. Crushed. This was the expression my wife looked and acted like. That level of trust that a married couple should have was gone. Porn didn’t start out as a problem and often it never does.
In the past my wife and I looked at porn and thought it added to our sexual experience. My wise wife told me this was affecting our relationship and we had to stop. I never thought I had a problem, until the decision was made we had to stop. My wife Esther was able to stop no problem, I thought I was too. But the thoughts never left my head and some never do.
I started to look when she wasn’t around with the thought of disappointing her. I didn’t realize the problem this would start until the day I was caught. I had to seek help to get out of this problem. My wife told me to get help otherwise our marriage was over. Less than one year of marriage and we were already seeking counseling.
I came forward to our minister at church and had to confess, I am addict to porn. I got the free accountability software through triple X church and any computer I am on must have it on. By the grace of God and the help through the xxxchurch website I was able to get the help I needed.
I am going on 10 years of marriage to my beautiful wife whose grace, compassion and tough love was there for me. Coming clean is never easy, why do you think so many people struggle with it? If you are struggling with this, or just “came clean” or “got caught” share your story, some problems are too big to handle on our own.
Get help. Today could be the day the guilt, shame and dirty little secret can be gone. Are you ready?
Accountability is a key component in recovery. XXXchurch.com offers two options for accountability.
X3 Groups is a online based group that meets weekly at the same time offering personal accountability with others. This is an option if you are unable to find someone in your area that will offer this help.
X3 Watch is another option that goes hand in hand with the X3 Groups and any accountability. This is a program that can be placed on either your computer or mobile devices.