I am so thankful for the women who post on this blog. Some times these women are angry and they come here to vent on men like me, a man who hurt my wife just as they have been hurt…I have ownership in that pain. Sometimes, they come here wondering why, what to do…they need answers and have no where to turn. Sometimes they come with words of praise. But what ever reason they come here and post, no matter what they have to say…I am so glad they are here.
These women are the ones that Jesus told us to love as He loves the church…and many of us come here seeking that change in our lives to be the men that God calls us to be for them.
In the last blog post, a woman named Shona Stewart posted a blog which shows so many of the problems of addiction in men. Here is a woman raising her son as a single mom because another man has again not kept his promise. Some incredible man is mentoring her son…glory to God for that man.
Here is yet another awesome woman who could write us (men) all off and who would blame her. Yet she comes seeking knowledge and I am proud of you men for your responses.
I thought it would be a great post and I wanted to know your continued thoughts and input.
Here is Shona’s post:
“Hi I know this may seem strange a woman reading and posting on the men’s blog but I feel led by the Lord to. I am leading a Christian 12 step group. We have all addictions present in the group. I like to stay in touch with the male struggles of sex and pornography addiction.
One man abstains from all Internet use and the other does not. The one that abstains is successful in “staying clean” so to speak and the other still looks at porn. Do you think its possible to stay away from porn if you have access and use the Internet? I ask for two reasons. I have a son who is addicted to porn who started at 12 and is now 14 and he has gone from searching out masturbation to homosexual and child porn. I had cut him off and put in place measures to stop him but somehow each time he was able to get around them. I have been told to take the Internet out of the house which I have but I see since I have been getting emails from xxxchurch that you all still use the Internet and seem to be able to abstain. How is this possible?
We are believers and he is just now getting discipled by a neighbor. He has had no father figure or male role model to find his identity in so he is rather effeminate. He is not motivated by the fear of the Lord but the fear of man. A police officer spoke to him about the issue of child porn and that scared him into wanting help.But God is working through this and he is getting to know Jesus in a different way I think. As a former addictions counsellor I know the theory but as a mom don’t know what to do with him. Do I punish or just put precausions in place? I have sent him to a female counsellor which I now know is not the best he needs a male one. I pray fervently. His career goal is to become a theatre arts performer and I cringe and try to discourage that choice but he is talented in this. He is in a Bible believing high school and comes to church with me so there is hope.
The problem I see here is so many hide this addiction here at the college, high school and church. IT needs to be broken out of the darkness in to the light. I am so glad to see that you all are open here. I am afraid to put my son on here yet. One thing one of the posts mentioned was about the use of language and not to use automatically and how he used mad and it stuck me that in counselling I have learned not to use the possesive language. This is why we do not say in our 12 step group my name is___ I am a sex addict or drug addict We need to separate ourselves from the sin. I am a child of God and I have a problem with the sin of addiction. I found Dr Caroline Leaf to be a great Christian who has material on how to renew our toxic thinking into a Godly mind as it says in Scripture we are to renew our minds in Christ Jesus. I thank-you men for your courage to come out and speak truth to many who struggle. I will recommend this site to the male members of the group who struggle like you do.”
What do you think men?
Thanks for your post, Shona. Thank you for your work in Gods Kingdom too.
Respectfully and sincerely,