Country star Josh Turner put a song out earlier this year that often finds its way subliminally weaving its way into my conversations with husbands and wives struggling with pornography.
The song is called “Time is Love”, and part of it goes like this:
Time is love, gotta run,
Love to hang longer,
But I got someone who waits,
Waits for me and right now
She’s where I need to be,
Time is love, gotta run
I only get so many minutes,
Don’t wanna spend ’em all on the clock
In the time that we spent talkin’,
How many kisses have I lost?
It’s a simple thought, and one that’s been heard before, but it rings true that we tend to make time (and spend money) for the things we most want and love. When I talk with individuals struggling with pornography, they often talk about how amazed they are at how much time they spend with pornography. They thought they would be able to just look at a few images, but the seconds they intended to spend become hours as they dive into the never-ending online porn abyss. Pornography deprives them of sleep and time with their children and spouse.
They never have time to see their friends or really connect with their husband or wife, because their porn abuse has made them fall behind in every part of life. Time that they meant to spend on a work deadline trickled away, dedicated to pornography, until 5 o’clock hit, and so, in a panic, they must work late and miss dinner to get back on track. When they finally come home, their wife is asleep, and they jump back online rather than jumping into bed to get their sexual fix.
Pornography steals time, joy and life from the good gifts that God has provided in our life. Your wife, your husband, your children and your Lord are all waiting for your love, affection and for some of that time that you’ve poured into pornography. Think about how many hours you could have spent connecting with your wife or husband; how much time you could have spent rebuilding intimacy, love and respect. Every hour you spend with pornography is an hour that could have been used to rebuild rather than tear down. If you are ready to run from pornography, and if you are ready to spend your time glorifying God rather than losing more time with the spouse you still love, then I hope you will check out our resources for women and for men. Every day you have the opportunity to take one small step towards living in freedom–and we have seen so many turn from a path of addiction to freedom. May this be the day that you grow to love your God and your spouse more.