Contrary to what the culture says, pornography is not just “harmless fun”.  The pornography industry is an industry filled with victims of physical, emotional and sexual abuse, and there are numerous connections between the sex trafficking world and the pornography industry.

Additionally, pornography can become an unhealthy emotional outlet; many kids turn to pornography to numb them from pain, embarrassment or rejection. Many pornography users become desensitized to even hardcore content, and some cross the line into viewing illegal content, even child pornography.  One 18-year-old confessed to me, “I’m so ashamed of what I look at.  I never imagined everything that was out there, and what could get me going.  I’m almost repulsed by the very content that I get off to.  And, it’s hard not to think about those images and videos, even when I’m with my girlfriend.  It’s like she just isn’t enough for me.  I need the porn to jack off.” 

I thought the content of a recent article fit so well with this topic that I wanted to share it with you, so the following is excerpted from the site.

Sex addiction expert and therapist Monica Breaux PhD, said the porn trap is especially pernicious for children, who have yet to develop a sense of boundaries against acting out what they have seen with others.

“Children are naturally drawn to images of other children as models of behavior.  They pressure peers to view and imitate pornography,” she said. Meanwhile, “group sex, bestiality, and sadomasochism are prevalent in pornographic materials that children stumble upon.” 

Breaux said porn’s “dehumanizing” effect can spread into a person’s entire life.

“We select people in the pornographic pictures for our personal slaves. We do not think of their hunger, their wounds, their need for our genuine love and concern,” the therapist said. “This slaveholder attitude creeps into our relationship skills.” 

As a sex addict loses sight of others’ dignity, said Breaux, this assessment of the human person ultimately takes root in themselves, destroying their self-esteem.  When addicted to porn, “we go blind to the goodness within us, believing we are bad and unlovable,” she said. “My clients, who turned to pornography to soothe their loneliness and emotional pain, tell me ‘Pornography ruined my life.  It was the worst thing that ever happened to me.’” 

As child therapist John Woods shared, his own area in North London has seen 50 referrals for youths suffering from compulsive porn use in the past year.

“As a therapist, I am convinced that these images can be deeply traumatizing to children — not least because a competitive market means that pornographers are trying to outdo each other to come up with the most extreme images,” he said.

“This contest to push the boundaries means that straight intercourse is considered too boring. Images of brutal anal sex and women being humiliated and degraded by two or more men at any one time are the new norms,” wrote Woods. “Some of the kids who regularly see such scenes will become conditioned to being aroused by only the most extreme practices at a critical state of their sexual development.”

Another alarming aspect of the dilemma is how easily it could be prevented: parents, he said, just aren’t in the room when kids are on the Internet. “Most parents simply have no idea of what their children are doing,” he said.

“In the Seventies and Eighties, parents were urged to ask: ‘Do you know where your child is?’ The urgent question parents should now ask is: ‘Do you know where your child is going online?’ because, in my view, where they wander on the web is potentially more dangerous.”

Without that control, the debilitating addiction could shatter a young person’s budding relationship skills and self-image for a lifetime.


For information on how to protect your child from online pornography, see our Parent Resources.