Earlier this week, we started talking about how to help your kids understand God’s plan for sex.  As we highlighted, it’s critical that as we talk to our kids about sex, we move beyond just giving them a set of rules.  Instead, we have to help them understand that God’s message about purity and sexuality is compelling and true.  God created sex and sexual experiences for marriage alone; when our kids engage in sex before marriage (or when they develop a relationship to pornography), they are missing out on the beautiful and full-bodied sexual experience God created for them. 

We have to help our kids understand that what we do with our bodies matters to God.  God created our bodies, and he created sex, and he created our bodies and sex as a good thing.  Since God created our bodies, we need to try our best not to abuse them or treat them disrespectfully.  Sex, as God designed it is a very good and pleasurable experience within marriage; when our kids engage in sex or sexual experiences outside of marriage, it can be harmful and destructive to them. 

Our kids will never be able to avoid “every hint” of sexual immorality unless we are doing our part to support their growth in God.  As their relationship with God and their Christian support system grows, it’s more likely that they will pursue purity as a result of their faith, not just as a result of parent fear tactics. 

But in terms of some concrete action steps:

  • Before you talk with your kids, think through some of the questions your kids may have and talk through those questions with your spouse and make sure you are on the same page.
  • Don’t worry about knowing all of the answers; it’s more important to set a good tone with how you respond to any questions they have.
  • Help your kids understand that no subject, even sex and pornography, is taboo in your home.
  • Watch out for teachable moments to ask questions.
  • Avoid shaming or embarrassing your kids.  They may have some pretty weird questions, and they may know a lot more than you think they do, so remember to stay calm and respond in a respectful way. 

For more, check our age-based resource “The Talk”.