Nobody likes to think about their kids looking at pornography, but the fact is, most men in recovery claim to have seen their first glimpse of porn at a young age. It’s very sad, but very true. One of the biggest concerns I have is that spouses just don’t talk to their kids about sex and equip them to handle sexual temptations that will inevitably arise.
There are two extremes that many parents fall into when it comes to talking to their kids about sex. On one hand, some parents just don’t say anything at all. They don’t have “the talk” until their 17-year-old is already having sex with their boyfriend or girlfriend, and even then, the conversations are awkward and have limited information or spiritual value.
Then you have the parents who talk about sex as if it’s dirty, gross, and disgusting. They make sex sound like a one-way ticket to hell, where STDs are abundant and true love is scarce.
Neither of these extremes is beneficial to the child, nor do they prepare them for choices they will need to make when it comes to sex and sexual temptations – the kinds of choices you as husband and wife have learned how to make.
As parents, we have to find a balance. (Tweet This!) We must be willing to have open dialogue about sex and God’s design for our sexuality. We must be willing to communicate with our children early and talk to them repeatedly about the joys of God-honoring sex, as well as the dangers of sexual sin. We must model God-honoring behaviors when it comes to our own sexuality. We must be just as concerned about helping foster a healthy view of sex for our children as we are concerned about their grades or their ability to swing a bat. There’s more to parenting than teaching our kids reading, writing, and arithmetic. We must also teach them to love the Lord with all their heart, mind, soul, and strength, and to use their bodies to glorify Him.
My family is pretty up front when it comes to tackling difficult issues like this. My husband and I have been honest with our oldest two with regards to sex, sin, and choices. When they were old enough to understand affection, we began talking about “special things” that only husbands and wives do together – there was no need to get into specifics; they understand when something is special. We talked to them about how God created our bodies as something to be treasured (Tweet This!) and that husbands and wives have the privilege of doing things together that only they should do.
We’ve talked about porn. Without going into grave details, we explained that, although the internet is a great tool for good, there’s also some pretty horrible stuff on there as well. That lots of people have corrupted it and put pictures or videos of naked people doing things that are inappropriate or displeasing to God.
I just taught my oldest daughter (she’s 7) the specifics about sex and how it works. It wasn’t awkward and it didn’t make her head explode, I promise!
In an overtly sexual society, pornographic images invade our lives every day! So we must prepare our kids to fight this battle. Temptations are everywhere and I pray for my family and yours as we do our best to teach our kids to honor God with their sexual choices.