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Lord I’m tired
So tired from walking
And Lord I’m so alone
And Lord the dark
Is creeping in
To swallow me
I think I’ll stop
Rest here a while
God, as I sit here on vacation, so many thoughts are running through my mind, as if I were a hamster running as fast as I could in an unstoppable wheel. It has been a long while since my last real family vacation, one where I actually have a real opportunity to relax and decompress, if even for just a moment. It seems as if those times are so few and far between in life, and the older I get, the faster life creeps up on me- perhaps pounces would be a better word.
Lord I’m tired- I need a rest; a break. I need a true sabbath. Not this thing we call Saturday, but an actual rest, a rest in you. A time where I can regenerate only because of the outpouring of your Spirit. I need you. Oh how I need you. This race, I can’t run on my own. The road is rough and difficult, even treacherous at times. Frankly, I can’t even run anymore my leg are so tired. Walking even seems a distant memory to me by now. And not like it’s a bad thing, but I’m alone. Maybe now you can fill me up. Only you. Not this junk that I keep pouring into my life- busyness, frustration; even drama. Lord, I’m a garbage can- take out the trash and fill me up with you.
Too often I have allowed the darkness to creep into my life; sometimes even consume me. I could use the excuse of “that’s what happens in life”, but frankly, I know better, and so do you. I have allowed myself to be vulnerable, and while that’s not necessarily a bad thing, it has become an opportunity for me to become swallowed up. Rescue me.
For now I will stay empty, waiting on you to fill me, breath life into these dry bones. Lord, that’s all I can say… right now.