The stats of the porn industry are staggering. There is a stat that every second $3,075.64 is being spent on pornography. That every 39 minutes a new pornographic video is being created to be released in the United States. 8 percent of all emails sent are pornographic in nature. There are 4.2 million websites and 420 million pornographic pages available for teens, children, husbands, fathers, heck even “pastors” at any given moment, at any given time. As someone who was once ensnared in the trap of being addicted to porn as a teenager myself. These statistics are staggering. They present themselves as a mountain to someone like me who has given his life to mentoring, and walking young men through this painful addiction. When you’re a porn addict, the excitement is in the secret. No one knows, and you can get away with as much as you desire. You begin seeing porn collecting to be like baseball cards, waiting for the next release of your favorite starlet. It entraps you when you’re young, and somewhat like a gang or the mafia, by the time you want out, it’s feels as if it’s nearly impossible to be released.
I consider myself a “porn mentor”. I mentor, and walk with over a dozen young men throughout the country that I have had the privilege of pastoring at one point in my ministry career. The only way around this mountain I believe is through ‘porn mentorship”. Hebrews 3:13 says “But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness”. Here’s 5 ways to focus on being a “porn-mentor”:
1. Transparency: I only deal with men and teens, so being transparent is very easy. Transparency is KEY. The personal hell I went through with overcoming this is laid out for any man witness. This leaves you very vulnerable at times and you definitely take a risk in being viewed in a different light. However, more times then not, the person your mentoring is going to really let their guard down, and you get really get down to business. Remember, at the end of the day you HAVE to get to the root.
2. If transparency is a “must”, the Relate ability can only help. Open yourself up that whoever you’re mentoring can relate to you. If you’re someone who has never really struggled with porn, it may be a bit more difficult (not impossible). When you can say you’ve been where someone has been only opens doors to healing.
3. Patience (on the porn-mentor’s behalf: Pornography plants its talons deep into the heart, mind, and soul. You must remember it will take time and patience for those visuals to erase themselves. It’s a healing “process”, not an over the counter cure. There may be stumbles, and slip ups, but refer to Hebrews 3:13.
4. Plan: Have a plan for said mentee. Set small goals, and see small victories as BIG GROWTH. You are their personal coach to recovery. How you game plan for them, will measure the possibility of success. This takes ownership and investment on your part.
5. Make sure your covered: I can’t tell you how many collogues I have had that begun porn-mentorship (or so they thought) only to fall themselves. You can’t help anyone climb this mountain, without solid footing yourself. Keep yourself accountable to someone as you help those around you.
It’s a mountain yes….but impossible? Never…..