Porn is a counterfeit.  It is a cheap substitute for the real deal yet many men (and women) fall for it time and time again.  Many women try to do the “pay back” when they catch their man cheating.  Guess what though? …that is a counterfeit too.

I was on the Internet today and found this poem.  It is quite depressing, but it is a reality for many women who catch their husband’s cheating.  Take a look and see what you think- we can compare notes.  😉


I Confessed, Put It In The Past
by L.N.K.

Here I sit with so much on my mind

I feel as if my life is in a major bind

Why did you cheat? Why did you lie?

You’re the reason I was with another guy!

I feel like this bind is all cause of you

If you wouldn’t have cheated, I would of stayed true

You don’t want to believe it, yet the truth is what I write

You convince me of other reasons, everyday and every night

You say I lusted for him, is why I did what I did

You say I’m always in communications, is why his number was hid

His number was hid, cause I knew you’d trip

You say he’s on hold in case you slip

I slept with this man, to get you out of my life

The pain you caused me, cut like a knife

Being with another man, helped me through my pain

But my heart was still with you, and you were still on my brain

I did get my confidence back, which I lost the day you cheated

The insecurities you gave me, and always being mistreated

No matter what I do, no matter what I say

I’m tired of hearing about him day after day

He’s my friend nothing more nothing less

What I’ve done in my past, I’ve already confessed!


The first thing I noticed was the 4th line… “you’re the reason I was with another guy”.  That is lie numeral uno.  Our integrity is not dependant on what someone else does or doesn’t do.  Just as our men cannot blame us for their choice to look at porn or entertain themselves or another- we cannot blame them for our choices.   If you pick up a shoe and throw it at your man it is your doing- he didn’t make you.  If you cuss him out, it is your doing- he didn’t make you.  If you do what this woman did and find another lover , he did not make you, push you or in anyway cause you to do so. You did that all on your own and an even bigger mess is made.

I think the biggest hindrance in our own growth and ability to heal in GOD is not accepting responsibility for our own choices.   I am not saying we are to blame for what they are doing but we are responsible for whatever we are doing that is not right in God’s eyes or not done as unto GOD.

Just yesterday I lost my cool… I told my husband he sucked and I was tired of his b.s.  Not so lady like is it?  Not a good representation of Jesus Christ is it?   Well I certainly can’t blame him for my choosing to lose it and saying those things.  And the sad part is that people who know our story would say I was justified because they know what he was caught doing once again.  But if I am going to say it to you, I have to say it to me.  NO ONE ELSE IS RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR CHOICES BUT YOU.

I know you are hurting and I know what has been done is absolute betrayal and is the most painful thing ever but you can be whole in GOD.  Stop expecting to find that feel good place in your man.  Stop expecting him to behave like you think he should.  This will cause you more misery.  I have found that there is a difference between hope & expectation AND there is a difference in HOPING in GOD than hoping in your man.

I pray that you will not allow this pain to rule you.  I pray you will not allow it to dictate your choices.  I pray you will stop right now and surrender it all to GOD.  I pray you will pray yourself through even if you have to do it alone.  I pray you will choose GOD.