I must confess, this is a difficult topic for me. Ask me to write about overcoming porn addiction, finding healing in your marriage, the effects of masturbation, who to talk to when you’re struggling, accountability, and just about anything else and I can write a thousand words of encouragement and experience in an effort to help other women who are hurting from a porn-addicted husband. But this topic just makes my heart ache. Wanting to give up. I can’t say that I really ever felt this way. Well, I mean aside from contemplating divorce after the initial crisis of truth. When the shock of my husband’s addiction came over me, I considered divorcing him. And there were moments early in the healing process where I was so hurt by the memories of his addiction that I struggled greatly with anger. But then something happened. God showed me that I was going to be used as part of the rescue. That my husband needed me to be the wife God created me to be. And from that day on, I never felt like giving up on my husband. Granted, I had the advantage of a repentant husband that many women, unfortunately, do not have. My husband was done; he was ready for the change and was willing to do whatever it took to be sexually sober and repair our marriage.

We weren’t willing to just give up. We knew that Jesus is bigger than any addiction and that through Him, all things are possible. We were diligent in our pursuit for purity and for restoration in our marriage. And God completely transformed us. He changed our hearts, our minds, and our marriage. I am so thankful that I did not give up. Sometimes God gives us amazing opportunities to suffer for His glory and to help others. Was overcoming my husband’s porn addiction the most painful thing I’ve ever had to deal with? Absolutely! Am I glad that I was able to help rescue him from the darkness of porn? I wouldn’t trade it. Being a tool in God’s master plan to free my husband from the chains of pornography has been both extremely difficult and rewarding.

We were not created to cower behind a bunker, turning our backs to the war raging all around us… God created woman to be a strength for her husband, to take part in his rescue in times of trouble. And in the war against sexual addiction, our husbands have never been in greater need for strength and rescue than this” (Engage the War).

Husbands need their wives. Even in those dark times when they think they don’t. God didn’t create women to just stand idly by and watch their husbands slowly kill themselves with addictions. God created women to be a partner; a strength to him in his time of need. Sexual addiction (or any addiction for that matter) cannot be overcome alone. It’s something that your husband WILL NEED HELP to become free. He will need the strength of Jesus Christ, he will need accountability and support, and…

“… he will also need strength and rescue from his bride. It’s a difficult position to be in. Heart broken and confused by his sexual betrayal, yet called by God to take part in his deliverance. It’s not impossible, and it’s certainly not without reward, but it’s not a task for the faint of heart. To be strength and rescue for our husbands, we must engage the war against sexual addiction. After all, our husbands are worth fighting for” (Engage the War).

 It’s not impossible. There is hope. God can give you the strength you need as He redeems your husband and restores your marriage. Don’t give up on him.

For more information about my story and my walk towards freedom with my husband, visit my website Isaiah 53 Ministry. By HIS wounds, we are healed.