While I was sitting at my table with David Dean listening to Craig speak at the Porn & Pancakes at Faith Tabernacle
in Burton, Michigan something Craig said hit me a little different than
in the past. He was speaking about how a lot of men at these events
will come up to us and tell us about their struggle with porn but,
never take it any further. I see this in several other areas when
regarding the “Do Not Stop Now” topic.
Other than doing this blog with my wife Darcy I also read and reply to
a lot of confessions that men, couples, and spouse post here on the web
site. This is a great tool and outlet to confess your issue with
pornography or tell your story. The one thing though that happens more
than not is that this is as far as they will go. They have made their
confession online without anyone having a clue who they are and the
feeling of getting that monkey off their back for just that brief
second is a great feeling. They might have a few good days, weeks, or
maybe even months but, not having someone else to hold them accountable
they jump right back into their old habits again. Do Not Stop Now!
Keep going tell someone you know whom you trust about your junk and get
accountability for this. Enjoy the feeling of that monkey being off
your back not for just one second but, a very long time.
For the guys who attend the Porn & Pancakes or the women who attend
the Porn & Pastries events. If you find your self at one of these
events and you feel the urge to tell someone about your consumption of
porn and it is someone from XXXChurch; Do Not Stop Here! don’t check
your issue at the door as you leave. Tell a friend, pastor, family
member, or your spouse that you are having troubles and you need
someone to help hold you accountable. You may have told one of us but,
we will more than likely not see you again and we’ll not be able to
keep you accountable. You need to bring someone in who you see and
have contact with often and will be able to hold you to your request of
cleaning this up.
A wife, husband, or parent is on their computer and they find out that
the other person or child is looking at porn. This can really mess
with your head and tare you up inside. Do Not Stop Now! Talk to this
person and find out what is going on. Do not go to them on a war path
because anger has gotten the better of you but, go to them with love
and genuine concern for their situation. If you have addressed this
issue before and nothing has come of it; Do Not Stop Now! continue to
address this issue with this person in the same way that was discussed
before. If you do not talk about this they will keep looking at this
stuff and more than likely fall deeper and deeper into this sin. Do
not be the person who knew about their struggles and was afraid to talk
about it only to watch their life be destroyed by porn.
If you have gone beyond just telling someone and your are doing
something about it you are on your way to freedom. There will be trip
ups, roadblocks, and other obstacles that will trip you up during your
healing process. These moments can crush you since you are doing
everything you can to get away from this stuff. Do Not Stop Now! this
feeling can make you think “is it worth it”? “I can’t do this” and “I
am big failure, I’ll never beat this”. These are words and action that
Satan is trying to use to get you to believe these things and give up
on your recovery.
Spouses during your partners time of healing and getting away from
their thirst for porn be aware that they will have times they fall.
Just like the person healing things will pop into your head like “He
they go again, I can’t take this any more” “I don’t need this I am
gone” or “I thought he/she loved me and here they go again”. You have
been rock in their recovery supporting, helping, and loving them.
Don’t Stop Now! I know that it may seem dim during this point but,
don’t give up on them.
I know that these situations can be hard and very discouraging at
times. I can remember all of them during my process to coming clean.
I know there are so many more people out there who have heard this
message that XXXChurch brings all over the world and they make the
heart breaking choice to Stop Here. This is an issue that you will not
be able to just stop cold turkey by yourself you will need help. So,
please take that next step and talk to someone come clean and deal with
it. If your holding someone accountable stay strong and don’t let the
roadblocks and slip ups keep you from walking with this person.