I can honestly say I have never seen porn.  I have met Ron Jeremy, but I have NEVER seen any of his films.  I was raised by a dad who would turn his head and tell us to change the channel if someone inappropriately dressed came on the screen.  I had 3 sisters and my Dad would do anything to protect his girls. He knows the value of women. 


So I meet and marry this man who has an addiction to porn…..I HAD NO IDEA!  XXXchurch came and spoke to our church and HE was the first to write a check to a ministry that is trying to help people with an addiction HE had.  Craig talked about men struggling with this and encouraged all to have the conversation with our spouses……mmmmm  I asked him. He denied.  I believed him.  I am not what you would call “Tech Savy”….he was.  I did not know how to check the history.  My ex is also an abuser.  Later I learned that Porn feeds anger.  UGH.  The perfect storm.  SO we get divorced due to the abuse and I find he has had MANY affairs and that he has a terrible porn addiction. I learn this fact from the many women he was sleeping with.

Gross / Angry / Unfair / Shocked.

How could I have not known?  I learned that it is a “secret” addiction.  Why would I trust what he told me?  Enough blame.  Satan has no creativity when it comes to this sin.  It’s always hidden and it ruins lives.  I have heard it said that Porn makes you do things you never thought you  would do.  I have heard many stories over the years and it is sad,  People fall so hard, fast, and once they do, they do things that they never thought they would.


I have learned  that all men struggle with pornography in some way, shape, or form.  Women are not immune either.  I am remarried now and on our first date, I asked my husband about porn.  I told him to be totally honest.  He was.   He has struggled with it but has safeguards up so that he does not fall into it.  He knows it is wrong, not real, and what he stands to lose.  Not worth it to him.  Staying in God’s word and meeting weekly with Godly men helps too!  So that’s it…right? This story wraps up neatly.  NO.  This is real life.  Dealing with my ex’s addiction and the fallout from that, the pain and hurt he caused. Walking a life of protection and purity with my husband……. and we are raising 4 BOYS!  LORD HELP US!  This topic is personal and hard.  I know that God has used what Satan meant for my harm for my good.  I have now “educated” many women who were like me and thought, ” since I don’t think about it or want to see it, neither does my husband.” WRONG!  Let’s be proactive in this and teach our sons and the next generation of men how to live a life of purity.  Let’s fight for marriages that are dying to this sin. Let’s bring to the light ALL that is in darkness! AMEN!  Pass the plate.