family essentialsHow do I put into words how absolutely vital a family is, especially in the porn-devastated home. In the home where pornography has seeped down into every crevasse of family life and imploded.

Where husbands have become cowards, wives have become bitter, and children have become a burden.

Where family is broken and hope seems lost.

Where the only remedy is Jesus.

To that home – to my home – family is essential. My husband could not have overcome his addiction on his own. I could not have found healing for my broken heart on my own. Our children certainly could not be raising and fighting for themselves. No, this was a group effort. A family effort. We needed each other (and still do). 

I believe that’s what God intended. Not the “porn-devastated” part, but the “needing each other” part. God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him” (Genesis 2:18). Why? Because God is a God of love, a God of community. And as an expression of His love for humanity, He wanted us to have the opportunity for mutual love and community with one another.

Families were part of God’s plan from the beginning of creation. A plan for husbands and wives to live in unity, helping each other, encouraging each other, loving each other, respecting each other. For husbands and wives to love and cherish their children. We were never intended to live life alone (Tweet This!). Yes, God should be first in our lives and ultimately we must look to Him for grace. But God knew we’d need help from others too.

He knew that men tend to disconnect themselves from reality: the pain of his past, the inadequacies and rejections of the present, the fear of failure in his future.

He knew that women tend to allow their emotions to control them — anger, bitterness, resentment, despair — instead of controlling their emotions.

He knew that children tend to be hellions without love, affection, and discipline (and even sometimes with those things!).

But God also knew that wives can be a beacon of light in the darkness of fear to her husband. That husbands can be a steady anchor in the crashing waves of a wife’s emotions. That parents can be a loving hand to lead children through the ups and downs of childhood. That children can be a source of great joy to their parents.

In a home broken by pornography, a family needs to depend on each other and work together towards healing as God pours out His grace.


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