Forgiveness has never been easy for me; especially when fear of betrayal is a key factor. So, when I was faced with forgiving my husband or simply walking away after 15 years of marriage, I struggled. Thankfully, through God’s grace, I chose forgiveness. It was not easy nor was it instantaneous, but God was able to take my one act of faith – forgiveness – and begin restoring my marriage.
You may be wondering how was I able to give this act of faith and choose forgiveness after years of betrayal? It was not easy and if you are like the person I was, I was afraid to forgive my husband. I believed that by forgiving him, I was giving him a “get out of jail free” card and permission to betray me yet once again. Thankfully, God showed me differently.
God taught me many valuable lessons. He taught me that forgiveness is not only for the other person but for me. When I chose to forgive my husband, I chose to let go of my victim role and to quit reliving the heartache and betrayal over and over. Once I granted forgiveness, the anger and the bitterness that I felt seemed to melt away. I was able to fully enjoy today and put my yesterday in the past. However, I must say, I also learned that forgiveness does not mean that sexual addiction is okay or that I agree with it; no, quite the opposite. I had to put up clear boundaries with my husband as we moved forward together to protect myself and our marriage from further harm.
Please remember that forgiveness is not the magical “fix it” button. It will, however, begin to take you on a process of healing. If you are in need of healing today, I pray you seek forgiveness. I pray you are able to fully receive all that God has in store for you and most importantly I pray that you receive hope.