Pornography and/or sex addiction is not something most people are willing to talk about. It’s a topic most people keep quiet about. This is one of the main reasons Craig Gross titled his book, “The Dirty Little Secret.”  Most struggle in silence and don’t know where to go for help. Being willing to seek help is the first step to being free of the chains that bind you. When looking for help from an outside person you need to take a couple things into consideration:

  1. Are you able to trust them? This may not happen right away if you’re meeting with a counselor that you’ve never met but give it some time and eventually the trust will build.
  2. Is it affordable? Find someone that fits within your budget. There are plenty of counseling agencies around that are based on income. You may also be able to get free counseling from your church or a larger church in your area that may offer that as a ministry.
  3. Are you willing? Seeking help means being willing to open up about your struggles, weaknesses and pains. You must be willing to share in order to receive help. This is closely tied to trusting the person you’re sharing with and as time goes on you’ll find you’re more comfortable opening up about your “skeletons.”

You can also start by having an open conversation with your significant other regarding your desire to seek help and finding a place/person that both of you can find trustworthy. If you find yourself as I was, many years ago wanting my husband to seek help only to find him not willing to open up about his dirty little secret, you can still find help for yourself. It’s a freeing/liberating feeling having someone who is unbiased and there to listen to you as you explain your frustrations regarding your partner’s addiction. As much as it affects their lives, it affects ours as well and having someone to discuss frustrations and share ideas with is empowering. Being willing to seek outside help is a great first step to success!