Back into the everyday grind after spending the last two days in New
York City while being on the Maury Povich show.  Darcy and I spent the
last full day with Craig and Brandon at the studio waiting for our
show.  We were front and center behind the scenes for a “who’s the
Baby’s Daddy” show that was filled with emotion, drama, and a whole lot
of yelling.  I use to think that stories like these on talk shows were
at least a little fabricated or scripted but, Wow was I wrong.
While being in NYC a lot of my time was consumed with thoughts of my
past, the recovery, and What could passably come next as I walk farther
away from this addiction.
While
on the plane coming back home Darcy wrapped her arms around mine
looking at me says “I am so proud of you”.  I had heard her tell me
that a few times over the last two days but, the thing was I was more
proud of her than she of me. Yes I have come to accept the fact that
when I share my story and trying to help others is something to be
proud of but, Darcy is whom I am proud of.
When I told Darcy about my addiction I was scared that once she knew
the full story she’d want to run far away but, I had to tell her and
come clean.  I mean what would your reaction be when you find out your
husband spent more time with porn than with you or seem to choose porn
over your sex life.  I hope and pray that if your in her shoes that you
react just as she did.  She wasn’t happy about and yes she was crushed
but, she followed through on her promise that she made before the
people in the church and God on our wedding day; For Better Or Worse.
She held my hand when it was tough, prayed for me when temptation
showed up, praised God with with me when there was change, and she
still supports me everyday.  She even excepted the chance to come onto the show with me and hopefully let people know that it can be done.  What a support she was and is to me
Listen we understand that this issue is very hard and at times can be a
thick cloud of deception but, you can do this together.  So if you have
an issue with pornography come clean and confess your struggles to
someone whether that person is your wife, friend, pastor, or family
tell them and get free from this.  If you are a spouse who is dealing
with the fact that your significant other has a problem remember that
promise you made on your wedding day.