I wondered if my husband’s willingness to change would stick around after that February confession of infidelity. I had no idea how someone, anyone could be free from such an intense pornography addiction that would lead him to do things he never dreamed he’d do. And neither did my husband, Chris. So he did the only thing he knew to do.
Within a few days of everything in our world blowing up, our family’s computer was taken from our home. Chris willingly surrendered to the men who were leading him through his recovery and this, they said, was step number one. If your right eye is causing you to stumble, gouge it out. If your computer is causing you to look at pornography, toss it out the window.
So we did.
During this detoxing period, we had no way to check anything online including our email accounts. A couple of days a week we made our way to the public library where we were allowed a 30-minute slot to take care of our online activities. This was a bit embarrassing and anything but convenient. I didn’t deserve to have the computer taken from me because I didn’t have a porn addiction, but as my pastor, Craig Groeschel, says, “Sacrifice is giving up something you love for something you love more.” I loved convenience but I loved my husband more.
Chris wasn’t the only one who God called to live a surrendered life. He called me to do it, too. Many would say that as the “victim” I shouldn’t have to do anything to remedy our situation. I don’t see it that way. While I wasn’t a doormat during his recovery from pornography, I chose to be an active participant in his healing and not take everything personally.
How desperate is someone to walk in freedom from pornography? In my humble opinion, I think you have to see a complete willingness to do whatever it takes to find freedom. You have to hate your sin. And you have to surrender everything to not only get free, but to stay free.
And once you taste freedom, you’ll find that it’s just as contagious as bondage.