This blog is from Marsha from Porn to Purity. Marsha and her husband have some very good and sound information and I am very excited to share more from them with you here.
The most frequent question I am asked by wives is “Is there hope for my marriage?” My answer is always “yes” regardless of what their particular situation might be.
I believe that the Lord has the ability and desire to rescue every man mired in sexual immorality, no matter how long he has struggled or how deeply entrenched he has become. Mercifully, nobody is outside the grasp of God’s strong and loving hand.
This is sometimes difficult for wives to believe, especially those who have seen their husband experience temporary periods of sobriety, only to later find him confessing the same sin over and over again. They wonder, understandably so, why this time will be any different than all the others.
CAN I EVER TRUST MY HUSBAND AGAIN?
That was my attitude for a long time. How could I ever trust Jeff to change, when he kept getting my hopes up only to let me down again? The change in my perspective came when I started putting my hope in the power of Christ, not my husband’s ability to stop viewing pornography.
Hear me clearly – I’m not saying that God took away my husband’s addiction because I started putting my hope in Jesus. If only it were that easy. What I am saying is that I quit questioning God’s ability to grow my husband away from this addiction as he grew closer to Christ.
I stopped saying, “there is no hope” and started reminding myself of Ephesians 3:20 which offers praise and glory to Christ “who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.”
JESUS, LORD OF OUR HURTS
If Christ were not in the business of forgiveness and restoration, than there would be no hope for our marriages. But because the Lord doesn’t give up on our husbands (or us) there is hope that our marriage can be redeemed to what the Lord intended in the first place. The New Testament is a testament of lives changed by the power of Christ…the sick are healed, sinners are redeemed and God is glorified in the process. Zacchaeus, the Prodigal Son, the woman caught in adultery, and the apostle Paul are just a few examples.
THE UNREPENTANT HUSBAND
What about the wife whose husband is unrepentant? Is their hope for her marriage? I think there is hope even then, but it need not be blind. A wife shouldn’t sit back and accept lies or look the other way when sinful behaviors are exposed. There are times when a wife must draw a line and be prepared to follow through with the consequences if that line is crossed. That doesn’t mean she lacks faith or she has given up on the Lord. Rather, it means she is taking her fight for her marriage to the next level.
We must keep in mind that God designed marriage and has a holy purpose for it. I frequently tell women that their husband’s painful revelation could actually be the first step towards enjoying what God intended their marriage to be all along. That has certainly been the case for my marriage. I thank God that Jeff’s pornography addiction was brought into the light. Had it not, I’m certain we would have never focused this intensely on discovering God’s design for healthy intimacy.
HOPE PAVES THE WAY TO WORK ON IT TOGETHER
When wives have hope, they are willing to do the hard work that marriage recovery takes. Even when their husband’s are struggling, they can endure the setbacks and continue the journey. As followers of Christ, we must come alongside these women and encourage them and remind them of God’s truth and God’s power. Galatians 6:2 advises us to “carry one another’s burdens”. 1 Thessalonians 4:8 says “comfort one another”.
We truly become the body of Christ when we begin to minister hope and encouragement to the hurting people around us. There is no shortage of hurting people today.
How will you respond?