As a porn addict my concept of love is one that is distorted at best. I grew up in a home where love was based on a “what have you done for me lately” basis. Now that I find myself in this new found relationship with Christ I am introduced to a new kind of love, unconditional. I am unfamiliar with this type of love; in fact it is somewhat frightening to me. I’ve only known how to love people on a conditional basis but another roadblock for me is the fact that I never learned how to truly love myself. I’ve spent the last 21 plus years hating myself and I have had a tremendous level of disgust for the person I’ve become. Porn addict, alcoholic, drug addict, once an innocent 9 year old now a 34 year old recovering addict.
The one thing that is helping me understand agape love, a love that is unconditional, is confession. Being truthful, open, and honest in all of my relationships helps me understand what true and unconditional love is. If I were to think about the strongest relationships I have they are the ones where the person knows everything about me. I am able to confess to that person the exact nature of my wrongs without the fear of judgment or rejection. James 5:16 tells us, “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” Confession is a big part of a true and authentic relationship. When I confess my sins to another person that is a sign of me placing my complete trust in them and in return I can experience a level of love I have never known before, that love being unconditional and non-judging.
Once I began to accept God’s forgiveness I was able to start looking others in the eye. I started to see myself in a whole new light, I started to learn how to love myself.
2 Corinthians 5:19 says, “For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people’s sins against them. And he gave us this wonderful message of reconciliation.” In confession we open our lives to the healing, reconciling, restoring, uplifting grace of Jesus Christ who loves us in spite of ourselves.
1 John 1:9 promises, “But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.”