I was having a conversation with a close friend of mine whose husband also has a sexual addiction. She was telling me how she didn’t feel pretty in comparison with all the other women her husband had looked at. She was even considering plastic surgery to make herself more attractive to him. She gave me a list of things that were wrong with her body and how she just couldn’t quite measure up and be as beautiful as them. My heart broke for her and yet at the same time I knew exactly how she felt because I had felt that very same way not too long ago.
My feelings stemmed around my thought process. In my head I thought, here I am, I’m slightly overweight, big nose that has been called a witches nose out of the mouth of babes, big hips, fair complexion, half the time I hate the way my hair looks, I hate the way I look in my clothes and to be completely honest I hate to even look in the mirror because I don’t like looking at the person staring back at me. So since all these things are wrong with me then it must be me that makes my husband turn away and look at something much more pleasing to the eye. Thankfully, God woke me up from the lies I was feeding myself! He taught me that my way of thinking was totally wrong and that I needed to renew my mind to the truth – His Truth!
God taught me that we are each wonderfully and beautifully made. We each have our own unique qualities and that He made me perfect – just the way I am! I had no control over my husband looking at other women. I learned that I was not the issue; nor are you the issue in your marriage. Men with a sexual addiction have some type of trauma that was inflicted upon them and they are trying to numb the pain out through their addiction. These men turn to pornography and others to fill a void in their life not because of something we as wives have done or have not done. So ladies, this is there issue, not yours.
God’s word teaches in Ephesians 2:10 that we are God’s masterpiece. Friend, YOU are God’s masterpiece that is fully loved and completely accepted by Him. He loves you dearly and is waiting on you to turn to Him. He will help heal your pain and help you overcome any insecurity, self-doubt or low self-esteem you may be feeling. I know, because He has done that for me!
Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother’s womb. I thank you, High God—you’re breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration—what a creation! You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; you know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, the days of my life all prepared before I’d even lived one day. Psalm 139: 13-14 (The Message)
Thank you Jesus for creating me. Amen.