I remember what it felt like to always try to prevent my husband’s next fall, slip or dive into the cycle of porn addiction.   It was a miserable way to live- constantly trying to make sure all the externals were in place to prevent the next mishap.   I didn’t want to do things outside of the home if I knew that meant leaving him alone to himself.  That meant I forfeited many opportunities, friendships, women’s retreats and even bible studies.  I became a prisoner to my husband’s sin which meant I fell into the sin of idolatry. His idol was porn and my idol was fixing him or controlling the outcome.

Even though my heart’s desire was natural and normal, a desire for purity for my husband and unity in our marriage- I had made his sin an idol in my life.  Doing the things God had called me to do to strengthen my own spiritual well being fell by the wayside and serving others did too if it wasn’t convenient for my husband’s schedule.

According to my life application study Bible, we often think of idols as statues or stones or wood pieces when in reality an idol is anything natural that is given sacred value and power.  If your answer to ANY of the following questions is anything or anyone other than God, you may need to check out who or what you are worshiping.

  1. Who created me?
  2. Whom do I ultimately trust?
  3. Whom do I look to for security and happiness?
  4. Who is in charge of my future?

God speaks clearly about idols in the book of Isaiah.  Ironically, it is one of my favorite books of the Bible.  He says this about the person who trusts in idols in chapter 44 verse 20 “He is trusting something that can give him no help at all. Yet he cannot bring himself to ask “Is this thing, this idol that I am holding in my hand, a lie?”

It is a lie for us to think that all the externals we put in place will keep our husbands from wandering off the path of righteousness.  We are not God.  Only God can make the change required in a person’s heart to keep them.  This is a heart issue and only an encounter with God can change a person’s heart.

There is more power in prayer than there is in idols.