I recently saw the following quote somewhere, not sure where it was, but it sure impacted me.
“I will love you with all the pieces of my heart.”
So often in our relationships we deal with things that have fractured our heart. In our struggles with things that create conflict in our relationships it is often all we can do to muster up the strength to not react to the other person with great anger and even bitterness. Especially when it involves something that has been ongoing and persistent. Like any addiction, whether porn addiction, drug addiction or online gaming addiction, or anything that controls us other than the Holy Spirit of God, many times we have had our heart broken. This is true both of the victim in the relationship as well as the addicted person. I can’t say I have ever seen a person that has struggled with things that has not felt like their own heart has been shattered by the stress of failure. As for their partner, feeling like we have been told something that was going to finally mean victory over an area of struggle or conflict, to only see yet again that we are disappointed and often so deeply hurt, we feel broken. Our heart can literally hurt from the frustration of yet again being disappointed in the situation and or the other person involved.
Yet being a follower of Christ we are told to forgive and make maintaining our marriage covenant a priority. After all, we made a covenant, not a contract. A covenant means till death do us part. I am not going to debate here the scriptural mandate on divorce and when it is or isn’t acceptable. I’m assuming if you are on this website and reading these blogs you are wanting to work on it and make it better. So let’s see about making it through this, not now far do I go before I can quit.
What does God say about forgiveness and making it through?
Prov. 24:29 “Do not say, ‘I’ll do to him as he has done to me; I’ll pay that man back for what he did.”
Mt. 5:7 “Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.”
(No matter who we are, we are not righteous. We need forgiveness too.)
Mt. 5:38-42 “Here’s another old saying that deserves a second look: ‘Eye for eye, tooth for tooth.’ Is that going to get us anywhere? Here’s what I propose: ‘Don’t hit back at all.’ If someone strikes you, stand there and take it. If someone drags you into court and sues for the shirt off your back, gift wrap your best coat and make a present of it. And if someone takes unfair advantage of you, use the occasion to practice the servant life. No more tit-for-tat stuff. Live generously.”
Matt. 18:21-22 “Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”
Mt 5:44 “But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you…”
Lu 6:35 “But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.”
Is any of this response easy? No, not really. It is perhaps the hardest thing we can do. But it is perhaps one of the most “Christ-like” things we can do. This is the picture of loving someone with “All the pieces of my heart.” We can’t succeed at this alone. Both partners need support and encouragement to make it through this. I don’t believe there is a way you can gain permanent victory in this, apart from a relationship with Jesus Christ and His believers. We need to also understand, what may have been acted upon for years and developed over time may take quite a while to be totally and permanently changed. And forgiveness and love will make it easier. Even loving with a heart in pieces.