I believe that we are called to love and are
called to mercy. That can be displayed in staying and it can be displayed in
When a woman first finds out that her husband is wrapped up in this blanket of
sexual sin there are a range of emotions that grip us. We are dumbfounded, hurt, shocked, angry and embarrassed. In my
opinion, we must allow God to help us in dealing with those emotions and traumas
before we make any major life decisions otherwise we are making decisions based
on our feelings rather than theTruth and power of His Word. If all we do is focus on our spouse and what
he has or is doing wrong then we run the risk of rising up over him looking
down on him as if he is beneath us and that is NOT biblical. We must look
to the LORD for strength and for guidance and for HIS best plan of action and
HIS timing. He will protect us, cover us, lead us, defend us and offer us peace
in the midst of the storm. Isaiah 25:4 says so!
Some men will repent and turn from their wicked ways. Those marriages can be
restored. A woman doesn’t need to run right out and leave her man because he is
struggling in blindness and bound by a lie. However; some men will not repent or are not brought to a place of repentance
without extreme consequences for their actions. Sometimes those extreme
consequences are from losing their wife, their families, their jobs, their
friends etc… However it is not wise for a woman to threaten divorce to try to
manipulate her husband into repentance. It doesn’t work that way. 😉
We judge repentance by it’s fruit (Matthew 3: 8) therefore it does take some time for fruit to
grow/blossom. Usually it is a process. I believe if it were always instant then 2Peter 3:9 wouldn’t point out that God is patient in his waiting for us to come to repentance.
Who can say what that process looks
like? I believe it looks different in every situation. So, that being said-
this is why it is important that the wife is rooted and grounded in love, that
her motives are pure and that the Lord is guiding her footsteps. A woman knows
when it’s time. She knows in her spirit if it’s God’s best for her to stay or if it’s in the best interest of her spouse and herself to separate. Not every situation is the same, but there is a godly
answer in every situation. That answer can only come through prayer, searching the Scriptures and as Proverbs 11:14 states, a multitude of godly counsel.
No one person has all the answers- only GOD has all the answers. We must be
submitted to HIM to hear His voice and the voice of those called to speak into our life (Hebrews 13:17) and know the path He has placed us on.