As we go through our lives from the day that God brings us in to the day he takes us away; there are things out there
digging into our souls. Over time these things create holes in our
lives and we feel the urge to fill them with something. Weather it is
the rage your father had toward your mother, the mother who drinks to
ease the pain of not being loved, the divorce you watched tare your
family apart, the drugs that killed the one you loved, or maybe the
porn addiction that took your father to jail. I know there are so many
other things out there that have dug holes into our souls that I could
go on far a very long time.
We look around trying to find things to fill theses holes in our
lives. We turn to porn, prostitutes, drugs, alcohol, shopping, or what
ever it may be to satisfy us for that moment of time. As we go along
we find out that these things are not enough for us and we need more
and more of what ever it is that fills us. It NEVER stays there and
completes us.
Going through the stages of addiction to pornography I had to
evaluate my life and look at all the things that created holes in my
life that I needed to fill and my drug of choice was porn. Looking
over the 30 some odd years of my life I could see the love that I
wanted from my father that I felt I never got, the exposure to porn and
sex at a very young age that I never should have seen, the poor
education I got about what sex is and how you should respect it, and
the list goes on and on. Because of this I looked to porn to fill this
hole in me because, I had control and I made the choices who I would be
with and how they would respond to me. The thing was this was nothing
but, a FAKE, a LIE, and a DECEPTION of true unconditional love is meant
to be.
The truth was I never filled these holes in my life I only covered
them up with a cheap bandage. That is until the day I let God
completely into my heart and allowed him to have the keys to everything
in me. I would not only allow him into the clean and comfortable
living that was a display of perfection but, I would let him go into
the other rooms of the house. The bedroom that was dirty and unclean,
the closet that I stuffed all my junk into as to not let anyone see it,
or even the basement were I stored everything from my past. I gave it
ALL to him. To carry my burdens and give me rest.
What do you want from life? Do you want to be living this life of
lies and deception? What are you filling the holes with right now?
If you are hiding behind the deceptive wall of porn or know anyone who may be struggling please check out the resources by CLICKING HERE.