If you have ever been in bondage to a particular sin or even a lifestyle of sin, you’ve probably said, “I hate that I do this”, right? Even though we may pledge to “never do that again” we often find ourselves right back doing this “sin” within the next week, day or even hour. It’s got its grip on us so tight that we feel smothered like we would if we were wearing a winter jacket in 110˚ weather.
We not only feel the tightened grip but we wouldn’t even know where to begin to attempt to pry open the proverbial hands that are strangling us. And even if we could muster up the strength to do it, sometimes, deep in the darkest places of our hearts, we realize that we don’t fully hate the sin that has tangled us up; we just hate how we feel after we’ve succumbed to it. And so the cycle continues.
Until the day comes where you hate your sin enough to do whatever it takes to find freedom. That day came for my husband back on February 19, 2002. He shut down his computer after only being at work for a mere 90 minutes and came home to confess a “multitude of sins” to me that included pornography addiction, multiple acts of infidelity and the pregnancy of one of the women.
He truly hated his sin enough that day to risk everything in his life that was precious to him.
The Bible says in Matthew 5:27-28, “You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
My husband had been committing adultery for our entire marriage even though the physical infidelity didn’t occur until the very end of his 22-year struggle with pornography. The pictures of naked women that excited him in his youth no longer did the trick when he was a grown man. Viewing pictures turned into watching videos. And that turned into entering chat rooms, which inevitably led to officially “hooking up”.
If reading my story makes you a bit uncomfortable because you are steeped in sin, do something today to find help. Sin always feeds itself. It will eventually consume you to the point where you are its puppet. If you don’t know the first step to do, simply pray this over yourself or the person you are concerned about: “God, help me (him/her) to hate my (his/her) sin enough to do whatever it takes to find freedom.”
From someone who knows the cycle of addiction first hand, I implore you to get help. And come clean. It’s never too late with God.
Accountability is a key component in recovery. XXXchurch.com offers two options for accountability.
X3 Groups is a online based group that meets weekly at the same time offering personal accountability with others. This is an option if you are unable to find someone in your area that will offer this help.
X3 Watch is another option that goes hand in hand with the X3 Groups and any accountability. This is a program that can be placed on either your computer or mobile devices.