Valentine's Day cardSo, it’s another Valentine’s Day and (men) if you are like most of us you are planning on rushing out at the last minute to purchase some crappy over-priced Valentine’s Day card filled with words your didn’t write and in some cases didn’t even read. Sound right?

Why do we do this? Well, first because we procrastinate. There is no way getting around that one. The other reason, I believe, is that men by in large are not verbal by nature. In other words, we are better at showing our love through what we do or what we give rather than through what we say. Cards make it easy for us to get around this, but we put off buying them because they just aren’t that important to us as it relates to truly expressing our love.

Sorry ladies … it’s true.

However, women need both. They need verbal affirmation and they need actions to back those words up.

If you struggle with porn this can be a real problem for your wife. Even if you did buy her a card two weeks ago that has great words, words that you actually read, your pornography use sends her a different message. Whether or not it’s true, women often feel that their husband’s porn use is about their inadequacy and your lack of appreciation for them and what they have to offer you.

Here’s a Valentine’s Day challenge for all the men out there who have someone special and also struggle with porn. Write your own letter … actually letters … to yourself. Confused yet?

On our site we have a section called Letters. The idea is to have you write two letters. One is to yourself from your sexual addiction. The other is from you to your sexual addiction. This may seem a little weird but by writing everything down you can better process what’s going on inside. Go ahead and take a brave first step in beating porn addiction by laying it all out there. Ask yourself:

Why do you continue to struggle?

Why is your addiction so powerful?

What can you do to beat it?

What are you going to do to beat it?

Who are you going to stop hurting in the process?

Get real with yourself and dig down. Make some real commitments to yourself and your loved one to beat porn addiction for good. Show her you love her by your actions and don’t rely on another lousy card.

Happy Valentine’s Day.