I can’t believe that we’re already at another Wednesday, but here we are. I really am hoping that as you get used to this “midweek installment” that you’ll want to jump in with some of your own comments and insights. That’s one of the main reasons why I wanted to do this; to hear what you have to say about what’s going on in the media as it relates to this particular platform. I want to see if we can work together to find a few solutions to some of the…madness and if you are agree or disagree with some of the articles that are getting a lot of “clicks and comments” on various websites.
With that said, here are three things that kind of caught my eye over the past seven days:
1) Although it is an article that was published last December, being that there are many people who reach out to us about wanting to end their marriage due to sexual and porn addictions, there was an author on the Huffington Post that asked a question that I do often: “There are many ways to be committed, but the ‘I’m willing to sacrifice for us’ way is the one that’s going to give your marriage a better chance at succeeding, the researchers say. But where do you draw the line on sacrifice?” As I often ask people in therapy sessions, “When you stood up and said ‘For better or for worse’ what was the worst in your mind? Amazing the kind of “I’ll love you no matter what” we’ll give to our kids, but when it comes to the person we actually created life with, we have our “make it or break it” list completed three days before the wedding. That said, when it comes to your thoughts, what does commitment mean to you in a marriage?
2) Did you know there was a documentary coming out about what happens to porn “stars” (I wish would could find another way to phrase that) once their careers end? The site that I found it on was a bit…racy and so I won’t link it up but I will say this: What I heard in the trailer solidifies what a lot of us here on this site have been saying all along. One of the people said “What you do in porn films is not sex.” Then another person comes in right behind her and says “When you’re involved in this industry, you lose your humanity.” So if the people in the films are saying that, what are those of us who watch it actually participating in? If it’s not sex? Interesting.
3) Church Leaders published a piece entitled “7 Surprising (and Negative) Effects of Porn“. The one on the list that I personally found to be the most fasicinating was this one: “Porn Lies About What It Means to Be Male and Female”: “In the story of porn, women are “one-dimensional” –they never say no, never get pregnant, and can’t wait to have sex with any man and please them in whatever way imaginable (or even unimaginable). On the other hand, the story porn tells about men is that they are ‘soulless, unfeeling, amoral life-support systems for erect penises who are entitled to use women in any way they want. These men demonstrated zero empathy, respect, or love for the women they have sex with…'” What a fascinating way to look at it. I get what they’re saying though. Porn has the tendency to make people have sex like animals rather than human beings; to go on instinct rather than thought and feelings and that’s not what God had in mind when he said that a husband and wife are to be “naked and not ashamed” (Genesis 2:24-25).
So what do you think about all of this?
I’m looking forward to hearing from you.
In the meantime, I’ll see you next Wednesday.