OK Y’all…

There were quite a few things that caught my eye this week, so let’s get to it:

1) First up: The young ladies. It’s kind of a blog unto itself, but I really wish that us grown folks would place more emphasis on the purpose of dating (which should be courtship that leads to marriage) because perhaps if we did, girls would be more focused on having healthy male friendships rather than getting a “boyfriend” (who’s ready for marriage at 12?!?). If you have a preteen or teen in your life who seems a bit “boy consumed”, maybe pick them up a copy of Praying for Your Future Husband: Preparing Your Heart for His. Then you might want to share with them a recent news story that I read citing that dating in middle school leads to a higher rate of dropouts. Oh, and also drug use. Which brings me to the next thing.

2) Although I’m not really sure when someone is “old enough” or “mature enough” to be in porn (seems a bit contradictory to me), I do get where one writer is coming from when he said that he believes that the age of when people can start doing porn should be 21 rather than 18: “I would think that having sex with a stranger for money and on camera belongs on the short list of risky behaviors that one can’t legally engage in before age 21. That list includes: buying a handgun from a federally licensed dealer; gambling in most casinos; working as a stripper in a bar; and smoking pot in Colorado. Porn-acting’s first cousin, prostitution, is legal in 11 Nevada counties, but nine don’t license anyone under 21.” Good points there. Although I personally wish that NO ONE was doing porn, perhaps if at least teenagers weren’t engaging, then there wouldn’t be so many articles about how many schoolgirls want to look like porn stars. (By the way, can we please find another way to refer to them? Porn is darkness and stars are what shine in darkness, so there really isn’t such a thing as a “porn star”. Maybe porn actors or something. Just sayin’.)

3) Let’s move up another age bracket now. I was really glad to read an article stating that counseling is a really effective tool for people dealing with porn addiction, especially when it comes to college students. There are a lot of people who write into us and say that they are so discouraged by the fact that they have been unable to “beat their addiction” and when they do, I have absolutely no problem with recommending that they seek out some counseling. Proverbs 20:18(NKJV) tells us “Plans are established by counsel; By wise counsel wage war.” Prayer and accountability (James 5:16) are both great and needed, but oftentimes a porn addiction is a symptom of something greater; something deeper that counseling can oftentimes get to the root of.

4) Just last week, while I was doing a Porn and Pastries event, I was talking to a woman who was asking me if erotica is really porn. Long story short, yes. I believe that a lot of women “justify it” because since it’s not in video form, it’s not publicized as much as being the “dirty stuff”. That said, while I’m not thrilled that there is another erotica imprint in the world, I did want to share something that an erotica publisher said about why so many women gravitate to reading porn rather than watching it: “So given that, and given that much video porn is shot with a male viewer in mind, I don’t think that it’s that surprising that women might turn to written erotica. It’s possible that, given a perfectly shot, perfectly crafted video of exactly the fantasy, with exactly the people, that a particular erotica reading woman is into, said woman might find video porn more appealing than the written word — or maybe not! But I think that given the way that much video porn is crafted today, it’s not that surprising that women might find it easier to satisfy their sexual desires with books.” Do y’all agree?

5) And finally, let’s end this on a high note. Sometimes we’re so focused on the “bad side of sex” that we forget that God made it and so therefore, in the right context (in marital covenant between a husband and wife-Genesis 2:24-25), it is a very good thing. If you’re married, please don’t forget that there are some really good benefits that come with engaging (which is why you’re not to deprive one another-I Corinthians 7:5) including the fact that it improves stamina, releases stress, relieves pain, elevates moods, promotes menstrual regularity, enhances immunity and aids in one living a long, full and healthy life. Shoot, I would if I could (trust me). Sex is a good and perfect gift from God, husbands and wives (James 1:17). Use it.

Til next week…