As I’ve been spending quality time seeking out God’s will for my life, it’s been amazing how much time I have found myself spending in the first two chapters of Genesis. It’s almost as if God is saying, “If you wanna know my will is, go and see what life was like before sin entered the world.” When you get some time, I really recommend you trying it, too because it really has changed my perspective on a lot of levels about a lot of things.
Anyway, as I’ve been reading about Adam and the Woman (Eve’s name in the garden), I have found myself doing a lot of thinking about Adam…and his descendants. A few weeks ago, I wrote a devotional entitled, “Help Refusal” and it was about my take (via scripture) on why men make some things unnecessarily difficult for themselves, when God gave them HELP (that’s us, ladies).
Last week, I came up on an article on Yahoo that gave one take on why. Long story short, it said that men would prefer to be alone than in a bad marriage.
I actually think that is a really healthy perspective…except for one thing: HOW MANY MEN WOULD FEEL THAT WAY IF THEY WEREN’T GETTING SOME OF THE PERKS OF MARRIAGE…like, eh, sex.
I believe I’ve shared this quote before, but it bares repeating. After all, in the words of Earl Nightingale, “Whatever we plant in our subconscious mind and nourish with repetition and emotion will one day become a reality.”
In one of my all-time favorite books, “Sacred Sex” (Tim Alan Garder), the author quotes another author, M. Scott Peck from his book, “Further Along the Road Less Traveled”:
“Sex is the closest that many people will ever come to a spiritual experience. Indeed, it is because it is a sexual experience of sorts that so many chase after it with a repetitive, desperate kind of abandon. Often, whether they know it or not, they are searching for God.”
Because the Bible says that the Enemy is like a theif who comes to steal, kill and (as if that were not enough already) destroy (John 10:10), I wonder how many of us have looked at premarital sex as a way of taking true intimacy away from us. One of my favorite quotes of all time is “Where there is love, there is no sin”. Since Romans 6:23 tells us that the wages of sin is death, I wonder how many of us are really thought about the fact that “making love” outside of marriage isn’t making love at all; its making death.
Hmm…maybe that’s why one of my exes—who isn’t saved, mind you (yet), recently told me, “I would never sleep with you (again…we did many years ago) unless I was married to you. Guys sleep with girls they are comfortable with, not the ones they love because when you love someone, you don’t want to ruin the relationship. With the girls you are comfortable with, you don’t really care one way or another how it works out.”
(I won’t even get into how many women he has made himself “comfortable” with, but he claims to have only loved two women.)
Endearing…I guess. I mean, it is in the sense that he cares enough about me to restrain himself, but my question is, WHEN IS HE GONNA LOVE HIMSELF IN THAT SAME WAY? When is he gonna stop being “comfortable” with who he is and start “loving” himself enough to wait on a godly mate?
Which leads me to the blog I was referencing in the title.
I have a friend who is also a writer, single, 30-something and…let’s just say really deserving of a godly king. We spend many days via email chatting about men, relationships, sex, God and how it all works together. Because we both desire to be married someday, sometimes we can’t help but ask, “What the heck is their problem?”
Yahoo gave us one perspective, but Toya came up with another one that I thought was pretty cool. I Peter 3:12 (NKJV) tells us that the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are open to their prayers. If like me (and Toya), you are waiting on a mate and the rights and privileges of godly sex—the kind of sex that doesn’t MAKE love, but CELEBRATES what’s already present before a man lays one hand on you, I encourage you to check out Toya’s blog. It definitely provides some good food for the soul.
…and something to do since we ladies like “helping” so much. 🙂
Link to Blog: “Say A Little Prayer for You”: http://www.blackgirlslikeus.blogspot.com/