“Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the
man to be alone. I will make a helper who is right for him.’
From the ground God formed every wild animal and
every bird in the sky, and he brought them to the man so the man could name
them. Whatever the man called each living thing, that became its name. The man gave names to
all the tame animals, to the birds in the sky, and to all the wild animals. But
Adam did not find a helper that was right for him. So the Lord God caused the man to sleep very deeply, and while he was asleep, God removed
one of the man’s ribs. Then God closed up the man’s skin at the place where he
took the rib. The
Lord God used the rib from the man
to make a woman, and then he brought the woman to the man.
And the man said, ‘Now, this is someone whose bones
came from my bones,
whose body came from my body. I will call her ‘woman,’ because she was taken
out of man.’
So a man will leave his father and mother and be
united with his wife, and the two will become one body. The man and his wife were naked, but they
were not ashamed.”—Genesis 2:18-25 (NCV)
Single Ladies (and if you’re not a single woman,
please forward it to someone who is):
I wanted to share
something with you that God shared with me recently in my prayer time. I could “go deep”, but let’s just say that a
one month shy of 34 and a “too long of a time in my book” bout of abstinence, I
found myself in tears as I went to the Father about just when “he” was coming
and why he was taking so long. God is so
good. He led me to the Garden of
Eden. Why? Well, while there are many beautiful stories
of love found in the Bible (Hosea and Gomer being one of my favorites), none of
them were created in a state of perfection. Only Adam and the Woman can attest to falling in love outside of the
atmosphere of sin; God’s initial plan for his children.
Now, the
revelation comes in two parts. First, I
wanted to reveal what God showed me as it related to the Scriptures. Take a moment and reread the verses above
found in Genesis. The beautiful thing
about the Word is that it has the ability to speak to you where you are. In one
season, you can receive one message and in another season in your life, you can
receive another. (God is deep like that!) At this time, this is what I discovered:
1) Psalm
37:4 says that if you delight in the Lord, he will grant your heart’s
desires. Why is it a good idea to desire a man with a
heart for God? Because it is in
communing with the Creator that a man not only receives his earthly assignment,
but he is placed into a stage of mate preparation. According the story, Adam did not decide that it was time to no longer be alone, and as
much as we like to romanticize the story, nowhere does it say that Adam was
“lonely” and asked God for a mate. It
says that GOD DETERMINED AFTER ADAM WAS GIVEN A PURPOSE (and we are not even
clear on how long that took, really) that it was not good for him to be without
help. (Genesis 2:18) Again, Adam did not
make that call. God did.
2) God
caused Adam to fall into a state of sleep before he began creating the
Woman. Now, check out some of these
definitions of the word, “sleep”: “to take the rest afforded by a suspension of
voluntary bodily functions and the natural suspension, complete or partial, of
consciousness; cease being awake”; “a
natural and periodic state of rest during which consciousness of the world is suspended”; “to relinquish a claim
(of a process on a multitasking system) for service”; “to indicate to the
scheduler that a process may be deactivated until some given event occurs or a
specified time delay elapses”; “to be dormant, quiescent, or inactive, as
faculties”; “to rest”. I think this is
something that a lot of us miss. Adam
didn’t fall asleep, GOD PUT HIM TO SLEEP. God found it necessary for there to be a period of time when he would
appear to be “dormant” or “inactive”, at least in the natural sense. (Genesis
2:21) So, the men who seem like they
don’t have a clue? There may be
something to that!
3) The
Woman was formed from one of Adam’s ribs. What does a rib do? It supports the body and it protects the heart. According to Genesis 2:21, after God took one
of his ribs, he closed up the flesh in its place. Then in verse 22, he began forming the woman. So, it would lead us to believe that what he took out of Adam to make
the Woman left a void that only he could fill/fix/repair and he fixed it before forming the Woman; a healing time
was necessary. In other words, when it
comes to receiving a blessing, sometimes what appears to be a gruesome or
grueling part of the process is actually vital and necessary.
4) The
Woman was brought to Adam. Genesis 2:22 tells us that after God
made the Woman, he then presented her to the man. Is it just me or does it sound like there was
a period of distance between the two while God was making preparations? God could have easily laid the Woman beside
Adam, but the Scriptures read like she was formally presented to Adam.
5) It’s
not clear how Adam was awakened to receive the Woman. All the Word says is that when the Woman was
brought to him, he began to praise her saying, “Now, this is someone whose bones came from my bones, whose body came
from my body. I will call her ‘woman,’ because she was taken out of man.” What is the purpose for bones in the
body? It frames it, right? So, the Woman was made from a substance that
framed Adam. How did Adam know that she
came from his bones if he was asleep? I
don’t think any of us know for sure, but my guess would be that one, he knew
something in his body, his life, as a single man, was no longer the same and
two, his level of spiritual discernment gave him an uncanny level of wisdom.
(Another reason why a godly man is ideal.)
Now, let me
explain how this all works together. I
journal a lot. Sometimes I find myself
writing what I want to say and then sometimes, I know a force far greater is at
work. This is what my Father shared with
me about his daughter. Let me preface it
by saying that in January a woman told me that Psalm 126 (you know, the chapter
that contains, “Those who sow in tears shall reap in joy” in it) would be my Scripture for 2008.
(Which may explain all of the crying that I’ve been doing!) I say this to say, don’t question the
process. Trust it.
My
Daughter,
You are right where you are supposed to be. So many people have theories and insights on
how couples are to come together and the truth is that many miss it by
interpreting what they want rather than what I choose. A man pursuing, a girl refusing, these are
not necessarily the optimal conditions for mate selection. Adam did not “pursue” the Woman, nor did she
spend her time creating ways to make it challenging for him to do so. Just like one’s purpose or date of birth and
death, it is I who determines the
“who, when, and where” of authentic and spirit-led matrimony and intimacy. It is the responsibility of both parties to
follow as I, and I only lead.
You are not waiting on some man to “get his act
together” or “see you for who you really are”, and no matter how it may appear
to you in the physical realm, in the spiritual sense, “he” is right on
schedule; my schedule. You are not to be listening to what man says,
no matter what form the voice may reveal itself (media, tradition, statistics, naysayers,
etc.). Remember, I decided when it was
time for Adam to receive the miracle of female assistance and so if you have an
issue with physical time, don’t take that up with anyone other than me; even
then, know that I have your best interest at heart. Far too many of my daughters are consuming
themselves with fear and anxiety about things that are really none of their
concern. My ways are not your ways and until
I unite you with the one you are purposed to benefit, his whereabouts and
activities are not to be a priority to you. If you have not been joined to him yet, it’s simply because it’s not the
right moment. He is not ready and neither
are you. There are finishing touches that
must be placed on you both and no matter how you may feel or what you might
think, I am a God of order. I will not
be pressured to move outside of my plan.
I know it must be hard. Flesh never likes to submit to my will. But please let me continue to mold you. Before you ever existed, you were
hand-selected for someone and that has not changed. As the Creator, I am excited about my
handiwork. Don’t go looking for answers
to questions you are not able to conceptualize or present in a way that will
intimidate me to react or respond. As I
did with your parents, let me have the pleasure of presenting you as a gift to
your mate. Ask your mother and father if
they will ever forget the first time they saw your face. I want “him” to experience a similar
thrill. If you want to channel out your
energies, get excited about how excited I am about you; about how blessed I
know he will be to have you!
Again, don’t concern yourself about the
time. I am timeless. Concern yourself instead with remaining in my
hands so that I can perfect you to be all that he needs, so that when it’s the
right moment, there will be no fear, no hesitation, no question that you are
indeed the one that he is meant to live out with rest of his days on the earth
with. Far too many women are not praised
on their wedding day by their husbands in the way I would’ve liked because they
did not allow me the opportunity to complete them to be what was required, and
the man was not discerning enough to know the true purpose that his companion was
meant to serve in his life.
I want more for you. Love me enough to let me give it to you. Just as you are to be a blessing to him, he
is to be provider and protector for you; he is to bless you as well in ways
even your prayers have yet to articulate, but in my infinite wisdom, I know you
deserve.
Remember, above all else that, like faith,
marriage is a spiritual union. This is
the time to remove yourself from your senses, from what the physical is telling
you and tap into your spirit. This is
when you can please me most by standing and believing that I am true to my
Word, even when you don’t see, feel or hear evidence of its manifestation. The
spirit always moves at what you all call “light years” ahead of the flesh. It takes it some time to catch up. (Hebrews
11:6) Be patient. (I Corinthians 13:4)
Stay in my will and I will show you the way—a
way that leads to love, bliss and happiness. A place where you will feel naked and not ashamed…until death parts
you. A place where your future husband
will restfully await you.
I love you. Be still and know. Really know. I do.
Your
Heavenly Father
©Shellie R. Warren/2008